ZEN and the art of ATTRACTION.

The Craziest Few Months Ever..

2007-04-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

So where have I been?

If only you knew...

The last few months have been spent going out - alot. Alot, alot.

I've hooked up with some of the top guys in the game and have just been enjoying myself and refining my thoughts on the game...new clarity comes with every passing night.

So, now I'm back. Doing what I have always done..

Passing it all on to you.

The blog's got a new address "zenandattraction.blogspot.com"

and I'm taking up a new moniker...

KnowledgeOne

Why?

I'll explain in my next post..

But for now, just bookmark this site, because honestly, there's gonna be some great stuff coming soon...

K1

Nothing was wrong

2006-12-16T18:04:00.000-08:00

I'm always intriuged by people's past perceptions of me. Today I was talking to a girl whom I met before I got into this whole game thing and she was telling me just how attractive I was. She told me all the things she loved about me - and how I came across.

Things like this happen all of the time.

Now the point of this post is not to brag. It's to show how you don't really need to learn anything in the first place.

This whole thing is just a big head fuck.

You see, shortly after I met this girl was when I decided that I had "no game". See how the two don't make sense when put together?

It's all in your head. You'll figure this out eventually - I'd rather just let you in on the secret now.

Showing her that you get "it:"

2006-12-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

Social reference theory says that everyone looks to everyone else for cues about what to do in certain social situations. Everyone thinks everyone else has the answer. Everyone looks to follow the leader, sometimes to such an extent that large groups are paralyzed by inaction because they are all collectively looking for the right cue.

In pickup, your job is to just assume this leadership role. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking them down the right path or the wrong path, just take them down a path. Want to talk about a boring topic? Be my guest, just take them down the path. Want to talk about something crazy and exciting and emotional? Even better.

The key to pickup, is showing them that you get “it”. The way you show them that you get “it” is by taking the wheel and just conveying them that yea, you know where you’re going, it’s cool.

This is why Juggler doesn’t know what he’s going to say before he opens. Nothing he could say is wrong, it all just “is” (very zen, no?)

Really, though, as long as you act like you know what you’re doing, keep the conversation going, and essentially “fake it”, you will in fact “make it”.

She’s just looking to see if you’ve got “it” and she judges this by how well you can lead her down a conversational path.

She doesn’t know what topics are right are wrong, she’s not looking for you to say one magical thing. If she sees that you know where you’re going, she’ll join you for the ride, no matter where it takes her. Why? Because you’re attractive..

Charisma Arts, THANK YOU

2006-12-10T21:21:00.000-08:00

Today is Sunday, December 10, 2006.

Exactly one year ago I was on the flight home from my Charisma Arts Charm School weekend. Wow.

Charisma Arts wasn't the start of my journey and it certainly wasn't the end of my journey, but it flipped the switched. It brought me from the dark into the light in literally seventytwo hours. A life changing experience. Really.

Prior to my bootcamp I saw pickup and seduction as a sort of algorithim to be figured out. A skill to be learned. A long, grueling process that once mastered would become a sort of computer program that I could "run" everytime i met girls.

While this mindset helps in terms of depersonalizing the game it can kill you slowly in other ways. It makes you opportunistic. Calculating. It's depressing to think of other human beings as targets and such.

What started as a search for connection ended up making me so lonely.

Then there was the bootcamp. There were no secret techniques taught to me, just a way of being. Really, all game is about just being.

I could write 50 pages about this, but I'm sure you've heard it before.

I encourage any of you who havn't yet taken a bootcamp to do so. It really is an incredibly experience; one that completely shifts your perspective and gives you a glimpse of just how awesome life can really be.

There is NO GAME

2006-11-18T21:12:00.000-08:00

The biggest breakthrough that you will ever come to realize is that there is no game. The whole secret is that there is no secret.

What??

There is nothing you have to "Do" to get the girl. It is the illusion in your mind, that you do in fact have to "Do" something, that screws you up. You think that you have to have this intangible thing called "game" that is learned and practiced and kept secret when in fact all you have to do is kill the idea that game exists.

When you talk to a guy who is naturally good with women, he'll tell you: just be yourself.

Bingo

When you talk to a guy who struggles with women he'll tell you: be cocky and funny, neg the target, do such and such, wear this or that....

The natural is getting laid. The loser isn't.

One of them is doing tons of stuff, the other is just being lazy...and getting the girls.

Pick apart the advice. The natural isn't trying to guard the secret - as far as he's concerned, there is no secret. To him it is so far out of his reality that he would have to do all this calculated stuff to get a girl...it's just nonsense to him.

I used to have this belief that I could have fun ONLY after I learned the game. I would tell myself "man, if i cant just figure out how to get girls in bed, then I wouldn't have to worry about all of this...I could just go out and enjoy myself". It was this one limiting belief that kept me from truly having fun when I went out.

Now, standing at the top of the mountain and looking down I realize that this was the very reason I wasn't "getting it"

What you have to get is the fact that there is nothing to get.

Honestly Opening

2006-11-16T00:12:00.000-08:00

Often the toughest sets are opened with nothing more than honesty.

You're in a new location, you know absolutely no one and you havn't opened a single set yet.

You see a gorgeous, dark girl with stunning blue eyes. She's sitting in the middle of a group of five blonde girls.

Your opener?

I'll give you a hint...it has nothing to do with rockstars named david bowie..

Lets try...

"You know, I've never been here before...I'm from xyz...and don't know ANYONE here...you look like a great person to meat!"

BINGO.

You're vibe is warm. You're company is fun. You're so fucking money.

Puppy Love

2006-11-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

The cutest little puppy ran up to me yesterday. Seriously, this thing was like 12 inches by 12 inches.

It rolled over. It smiled. It jumped on me. Its owner watched with a grin.

"She does this with everyone. He's damn friendly"

Then, after a good two minute play session - the highlight of my day- I went on my way, the puppy on his.

The difference? When I turned around, still thinking about the little guy, he was already on to his next adventure - chasing a squirrel.

To the puppy, it's never "it sucks here, no one to play with"...no, to this little guy it's "everything is so fucking cool, I just want to play, play, play, play"

Be like the puppy. ok?

Outcome Orientation

2006-10-30T20:19:00.000-08:00

Outcome orientation is the number one problem. In a big way.

The reason most guys dont get what they want is because...they want it. You've got to lose this mindset.

When you go out, go out to have fun and enjoy people - not to pickup girls.

Only then can you have fun.
Only when your having fun can others have fun around you.
Only when others are having fun around you will things end up with sex.

The endless pursuit of mastery of a skillset - mastery of control of the oposite sex - it'll stress you out - it'll make you sweat - it'll get you down. Just have fun man, that's all you can do.

This subtle little shift, this tiny little change in your mindset is all that it takes. You can go from zero to sixty faster than you ever thought. Just change this one little thing. Go out to have fun and enjoy yourself.

The guys at Charisma Arts really have this nailed. Head over to their webpage and listen to the audio of Johnny and Wayne picking up girls. Not only that - listen to how they talk about pickup itself. Just listen to how much fun they're having and remember: fun is contagious.

ps I know I just posted on something like this about a month ago but man - its so fucking important.

Power

2006-09-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

The only way to have power in a negotiation is to let the other party know that you will walk away. If they know this, the power shifts dramatically.

Style

2006-09-14T18:25:00.000-07:00

Game is about conveying. When you dress you convey all sorts of things about yourself. When you dress well, you don't have to create attraction. You only have to focus on rapport. That is it. Be playful. Be fun. Be free.

She knows you're hot shit because you're dressed like it.

It seems silly. It is.

but its the truth.

if you want good looking women, get a good wardrobe. dress cool.

you'll thank me when a runway model asks you, "Hey, are those jeans Rock Republic?"

Responding to Responding

2006-09-11T23:49:00.000-07:00

It seems as if I've been so caught up in being zen that I've forgotten my Charisma Arts roots.

The Buddha himself said that you musn't attatch yourself to anything, so he wouldn't be too happy with me latching on to the concept of "zen".

In any case, I want to talk about something incredibly insightful that Juggler taught me.

A woman tells how attractive you are by how you react to situations.

If your car breaks down, how do you react? You're in a strange social situation, how do you react?

Now, this rule holds true in conversation.

It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what she says in response. It matters how your respond to her response.

So when a girl says to you "I'm actually talking to my friends" and you respond "oh cool, what are you guys talking about?", you're response is demonstrating all the right things.

Think about this...really think about this...you can never get "blown out"...now isn't that something..

Fun

2006-09-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

My biggest break through with regard to meeting women was when I realized it wasn't about meeting women.

What?

In society we are taught that the woman is that last piece we need - the one thing that will bring us status, pleasure, fufillment, happiness.

Consequently, it is this belief that makes us unsuccesful with them.

When you go out to meet women, don't focus on meeting women!

I would never just go out to meet women. What's the point? What am I chasing? What am I hoping to gain?

A girl? Ok, and then what?

When I go out - anywhere - i go out to HAVE FUN. That is my only rule.

Fun is all you can have. Who cares about results? If you have no expectations you can never be upset.

I don't know about you but I don't like being upset - but I do like having fun.

Fun is something that everyone is capable of, something that everyone has within them.

When you bring this side out of yourself others will laugh with you and become incredibly attracted to you. People like what gives them pleasure, its that simple.

Nothing and Everything

2006-08-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

Nothing is anything. Everything is what you think.
-me

Karma

2006-08-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

The law of karma dictates that what goes around comes around. Everything has an effect on everything. One thing leads to the next.

So why talk about karma? Because it has everything to do with success with women.

When you interact with women you will get back out what you put in.

Less is More

2006-08-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

Game is less about the things you do and more about the things you DONT do.

Sounds absurd? Maybe.

You see, the whole process of becoming a sexy human being is stripping yourself of the shit you just don't need.

The limiting beliefs.

There really is nothing external to learn...the problem is that there is so much to UNLEARN..

Beginner's Mind

2006-07-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

A while back in a post entitled "how to run game", I wrote that in essence all you need to do is be is curious about someone else..you just have to WANT to find out who they are, how they got there, and where they're going.

What you need to experience this state is called the "Beginner's Mind".

A mind free of judgement or preconcieved notions.

Only when you see the world as it is, and not as a collection of your past judgements, can you begin to connect with strangers on this very real level.

Your state.

2006-07-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

Stop the endless pursuit of the high-energy, high-instensity party state.

It cannot be maintained and it's loss will only bring suffering.

Abide in a peaceful, clear-minded, compassionate,relaxed state. This can be kept forever.

Notice the most natural of naturals. They stopped chasing the high-energy state years ago...

A Bit of Zen Wisdom

2006-07-19T05:27:00.000-07:00

Students of the way, if you wish to become buddha,
you need not study any doctrine; you must only learn to avoid
seeking and attaching yourselves to anything.
-Zen Master Huang-po, ninth century

Got Game?

2006-07-19T05:18:00.000-07:00

This whole pursuit of social mastery - pickup - being sketchy - or whatever you want to call it is just a quest for validation of this belief - "I have game"

From this belief, everything flows. From this belief, women flow into your life.

People spend years doing cold approaches just so that they can settle down and say, "I'm cool now, I have game, back to life.."

So of course, you know what I'm going to tell you..

Adopt the belief: "I have game"

What happens now? You are forced to trust yourself.

Trust your inner instinct.

Be spontaneous.

The world is yours.

You can do no wrong.

Why? Because "YOU HAVE GAME" but you've gotta trust yourself to use it.

I don't have the answers. Juggler doesn't. Mystery doesn't.

ONLY YOU DO.

But until you believe that you have this intangible thing called "game", you won't be able to find it. It's that simple. But hey, less is more.

Where have I been?

2006-07-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

I've been around. Enjoying life. Posts this summer will be sporadic, but hopefully inspirational. In the mean time you can browse through the archives or check out Dr. Alex's Tao of Dating. Should keep you busy for a while..

Zen Quote of The day

2006-06-26T05:55:00.000-07:00

Zen is the game of insight, the game of discovering who you are beneath the social masks.
- R. H. Blyth

The Philosophy of Inner Game

2006-06-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

Lets change the way we think about women.

Women are a gift; from the universe to us. When do we receive this gift? When do we deserve the reward?

When we are happy.

What happens when we are happy? The rich get richer. The happy get happier.

When are we happy? We are happy when we accept our current condition.

We achieve this by accepting the fact that, "what is, is", meaning what can't be changed, simply "is".

We achieve this by being completely grateful for everything in our life that we can possibly be grateful for.

We achieve this by being in the "now". Not thinking about 5 minutes ago. Not thinking about 5 minutes from now.

We achieve this by accepting ourselves and not seeking the approval of anyone else.

When we are completely happy, desiring nothing, just being, we are given the gift of women.

If we are armed with a clear mind, the most true indicator of happiness, we will seize the opportunities that this great universe has to offer us.

As long as we stay happy and desireless, all of our old desires will be met, and in an abundance that is nearly unimaginable.

Only when you stop wanting can you have.

Play

2006-06-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

I just got back from running some errands. Along the way I managed to meet 3 beautiful women. All 3 interactions were great.

Why?

Playfulness.

I was feeling silly. They were feeling attracted.

Playfulness shows alot of things.

First, it shows that you don't take yourself too seriously.
Second, it shows that you're not taking the interaction too seriously.
Third it shows that you're not taking her too seriously (not intimidated).
Fourth it shows that you know how to have fun.

Playful tip of the day - pretend your stupid. Minsinterpert. Make her help you figure stuff out.

When I say stupid..i mean like reaaally stupid.

Zen thought of the day

2006-06-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"
-Basho

Discuss

The Map

2006-06-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

"The map is not the territory"
-Alfred Korzbyski

Trya Banks and Sex

2006-06-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

So I'm Watching the Tyra Banks Show Right now. Don't ask.

The topic is woman who crave sex.

One girl just said she wants it before breakfast, lunch, dinner, and an after dinner snack.

Think about this next time you're out. Don't dwell on it. Keep your mind open and free, but when something like "She doesn't want it" creeps in, you can give yourself a little reminder that girls just like guys, "want it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and an after dinner snack"

On a completely seperate note, Tyra Banks is a beautiful person.

It's Not About Women

2006-06-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

This whole thing. It's not about women.

You tell yourself it is, but of course, this is only to tame your ego.

"I'm fine, I'm the fucking shit, it's just that, well, you know, I have to get this particular skillset handled"

No. Life is not a skillset. Sorry. I ain't gonna buy it.

Maybe its not your "ability to interact with women" that needs correcting.

Maybe, just maybe, it's your entire way of thinking about life.

Maybe your lack of success stems from your inability to control your emotions. Maybe it stems from your inability to get over the past. Maybe it stems from your inability to let what is, be. Maybe it stems from your inability to let go of the future. Maybe it stems from your desire to control. Maybe it stems from your childhood desire for approval.

See, everyone's running around trying to cure the symptom "bad with women" when really, no one is giving thought to the disease.

Don't blame this on the symptom. Don't blame it on anything actually, it just is. No blame required.

What you can do though is look at yourself. Really look at yourself. There's something behind all of this that is manifesting itself in a lack of success with women. Why not find it and change it.

You can't just keep trying to hack at the weeds, you have to uproot them.

The Fleeting Beauty

2006-06-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a thought like this:

"If I could just bang one 10, then I'd be able to bang them all, beacuse like, if I could do it once then I'd just have so much confidence that no woman ever again would be a problem"

Honestly, have you?

Well you know what, I've had this thought. And I've banged the 10. And you know what happened?

Things got worse.

You see, the higher the climb, the longer/harder the fall.

So you get that 10 one night, finally. Then, it's tomrrow and she's gone.

For a few days you think about it, and you're happy. great. then what?

You want to repeat it. You HAVE to repeat it. Your EGO craves this confirmation.

Pressure to perform builds, an interaction goes poorly, and suddenly, you've convinced yourself that your 10 only liked you because of x,y, or z, and not because of your "game."

Now what?

I Know Your Sticking Point.

2006-06-21T00:56:00.000-07:00

Stop thinking about 5 minutes from now.

5 minutes from now will still be now.

So why not just think about now?

Good. Glad I could help.

What's In a Name?

2006-06-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can see...new name..again..am i crazy?

Maybe.

Vibe

2006-06-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

What is vibing? What is giving off a vibe?

What the hell am I talking about?

I'm talking about vibrations.

Everything Vibrates. You Vibrate. She Vibrtaes.

Your vibrations convey the truth. Nothing can mask it.

Once you have mastered yourself, Mastered your mind:

You will vibrate.

She will understand.

She will want to sleep with you.

It's as simple as that.

Zen and Pickup

2006-06-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

True learning is learning that there is nothing to learn.

PU in Perspective

2006-06-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Pickup is a means to an end, not an end.

So many guys enter this wacky little world, hoping to solve a problem, and end up with a whole new one.

So many guys come in feeling inadequate as a man, and then along the way, start feeling indadequate as a pickup artist.

Ask yourself this; do you want to be a cool, relaxed guy who gets tons of girls, or do you want to be a pickup artist?

If you're striving to become the first, then don't beat yourself up when you aren't the second.

There are times when I'm in my head, thinking about philosophy or business or politics or whatever it may be, and I don't really feel like "picking up". So what do I do during these times? I just enjoy my life and get lost in my thoughts. I'm a deep, intelligent man, not a pickup machine.

Lose the scarcity mindset. If you were good with women last night, you will be good with women tomorrow...even if....gasspp...you don't talk to that many woman today. Stop fearing regression; it ain't gonna happene..unless you keep thinking about it.

Live your life as a man who is good with women, not a man who needs to constantly prove to himself that he is a well-oiled pickup machine.

The Tao of Abudance..and Cootch

2006-06-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

Let's consider for a moment two mindsets.

The first is...

"the world is filled with scarcity. Money is limited. Jobs are Limited. Good women are few and far between. "

this is the scarcity mindset.

The second is....

"the world is filled with abundance. Everywhere I look, there is stuff. There is plenty of money to go around. There are plenty of jobs. There are 3 Billion women out there for me. I live in abundance."

Which way do you think?

I know that I've been guilty of thinking "Man, there's only 4 cute girls at my school", or "I have no options because I dated this one girl, and now ALL these girls are off limits"

Have you ever commited such treason?

What happens when we live in this scarcity mindset?

1. We place to much importance on outcome.
2. We do not expect abundance, and thus don't recieve it.

and now for the big one...

3. Even when we get what we are striving for, we still feel the lack.

If we accept the scarcity mentality, then once we have that perfect 10, we are scared to lose her. This mentality drives her away. Now, we are back to square one again...

Think about this stuff. Toss it around in your mind a little bit. It's really interesting. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

And again, if you havn't already picked up a copy of Dr. Alex Benzer's The Tao of Dating, you're making a huuuge mistake. I really do hate to sound like an ad, but its the truth.

Be, Yourself

2006-06-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

You must be, yourself.

Notice the comma. Read it out loud. Pause for a second after the word 'be'.

Think about it. What's it mean to Be....yourself?

In your journey to become better with women, surely you will come in contact with some truly great ladies men. Weather it be in person, or simply through maybe reading Tyler or Juggler's Archives, you will share your journey with others.

I think we are all guilty in feeling secure in the "presence" of others who are better than us.

It's as if we think we're automatically better with women, if we associate ourselves with the world's best.

But ultimately, its only you.
It's only yourself.
And you must BE, yourself.
Not, the community.

You cannot BE, Juggler.

Juggler is probably off somewhere reading a book..and you? what are you doing? you must BE BEING YOU.

Too often we rest on others' contributions. You must learn to rely only on yourself.

Imagine this:

You belong to a great group of guys, who have LOTS of fun.

You shold be glad, you really should.

But remember, that this group is fun because it consists of lots of guys BEING fun. In order to create this sort of environment, everyone in the group themselves must BE, fun.

You cannot loaf. It doesn't work that way. The second you try to let others "create" the fun for you, so that you can just take, the fun will disappear. Why does this happen?

Dr. Alex Benzer, Author of the Extraordinary Tao Of Dating, discusses this concept in his ebook.

If you ask the universe "What can I take?" , It will come right back at you and ask "what can I take?" But if you ask it, "how can i serve?" It will look at you and ask, "How can I serve?"

Imagine the extraordinary quality of your life if the universe were continually asking itself, "How Can I Serve You?"

I encourage you to pickup a copy of Benzer's book, The Tao of Dating, it will be one of the best investments that you have ever made. It will help you change your entire thought structure.

Validation Part 2

2006-06-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

So you've realized that no one else besides YOU can validate YOU.

Now, what happens once you've become self-validated?

You become a magnet.

Just about everyone in your life that you come in contact with will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. They will do so in order to feel better about themselves.

The ability to validate others is what will ultimately set you free..

Validation

2006-06-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

So many of us started on this journey because we needed to get this part of our life handled.

Why?

Validation.

Getting a HOT girl validates you, and lets you know that "you're the man."

Come on guys, you know its true. Your friends will be jealous. You'll be the man. You just have to figure out the game and then you're golden. Life will be great. Life will be valid.

Herein lies the paradox: in order to become an attractive man, you have to be self-validated.

It is our search for validation that ultimately sabatoges our search for validation. It's a cruel little joke that the universe plays on us, ain't it?

No # of closes or lays will validate you. You can get 50 girls in bed this next year, and still be approval seeking. Running up #'s is not the answer..

To be continued...

In the NOW

2006-06-02T17:48:00.000-07:00

We know that "being in the moment" is the name of the game. But why? Let's take a look...

The extent to which we are happy at any given moment is largely correlated with our "locus of control", the degree to which we think we are in control of the world.

Now, at any given time, there are three places we can be in mentally; the past, present, or future

The past is immutable. It's over. It's done. We cannot change it. When we are living in the past, we have the lowest possible degree of control.

The future is definately subject to a bit of our control. You can set goals. You can have plans, you can have a rough idea of the future, but you could also die tomorrow. Lest not forget this. How much control over the future do you really have? Not much.

Finally, we come to our present. This is the only time we can make decisions. THE ONLY TIME. To be in the now is to be alive. You might not be around tomorrow. But right now you are. Right now you have complete control of your decisions and thus your life.

This high level of control equates to a high locus of control, which results in happiness.

Putting aside all of the 3 million additional physiological benefits of being in the now, I want to talk about the effect of happines on the now and on your interactions.

When two people communicate, emotions are shared. They are contagious. People naturally gravitate toward those that are happy in order to achieve happiness themselves.

Remember, people move toward pleasure and away from pain.

You can provide this pleasure by living in the now.

The road less traveled..

2006-06-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

So many times we see guys in the community ditching their values to assume new personas.

"If you do what you always done," they say "you'll get what you've always gotten".

All of the sudden we have thousands of cocky asshole alphas, who increase their value by trying to push others down. Deep down know they are lying to themselves.

We have guys who value authenticity and honesty, who will tell stories just to pull a fast one on a girl as a "learning experience."

Guys who are bettering their lives by ruining others. "It's survival of the fittest baby!" they say.

Riiiiiiiight.

This is life. Not a game. Your values still apply. There are other people in this world besides you.

If you come to a club and attempt to AMOG me and steal my girl by making fun of me and acting cocky and funny and giving me a noogie, I will gladly hand the girl to you!

She's just not that important to me.

If you really feel the need to act that way to validate youself, awesome. I'll move on to the next girl and let you have the last one. I just want you to feel good about yourself. Seriously.

In my ideal world, everyone feels good about themselves.

Excuse my tangent..

There's a higher road. There's a way to bring joy to the world by bringing emotion and energy and passion to interactions. A way to approach the world with integrity.

Lets take this road.

I'll help you navigate it.

Whaddaya say?

A mother and her child...

2006-06-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks SpiritFingers for the gracious shout out..welcome to all of you coming over here from
SexRevolution, I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay!

Yesterday I sat in a Barnes & Noble and watched a five year old boy excitedly tell his mom about his new trading cards.

The mother smiled, asked questions, changed her tonality, and acted 100% interested in what the child was saying.

Mother: "So what do the 'spell' cards do honey?"..."Wow, that's incredible!"..."What are those right there?.."

What was his response? He kept telling her more and more, his excitement growing along with the gigantic smile on his face.

What can we learn from this?

1. In asking open ended questions which are interesting to the child, the adult draws the child out of his shell, and gets him talking.

2. In talking about a topic that he finds interesting, the child is put into an amazing state.

3. The adult smiles and varies her tonality across a wide range to convey excitement.

4. Even if the adult isn't interested in what the child is talking about, she marvels at the beauty and the innocence of the child, and the mere act of listening to an excited, beautiful young child is what's gratifying.

5. The adult leads the interaction the entire way. This is the relationship between the adult and the child.

Really take a moment to think about how this relates to pickup and social dynamics. I would love to hear your thoughts..

New Blog from Spirit Fingers

2006-06-01T04:14:00.000-07:00

Spirit Fingers, formerly of "The Natural Game Journals" fame, has started a new blog called "The Sex Revolution Blog."

This is really great. Along with a new layout and name, he's going to be posting more frequently and he's also going to be incorporating....you guessed it...sex tips.

Spirit Fingers is one of the biggest advocates of natural game in this blogosphere, and his stuff is money, so be sure to check him out here

Working on Yourself

2006-05-31T19:54:00.000-07:00

A great quote that I heard earlier today: "Girls don't like sargers, they like attractive men". Amen

With that being said, I encourage you to check out a great post over at SPG's Diaries about just this. Check it out here.

Also, if you havn't picked up a copy of "The Tao of Dating" what are you waiting for?

The Tao of Dating

2006-05-31T07:14:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve found a resource that is simply amazing.

Over the life time of this blog, I’ve been hinting at certain little ways of looking at life.

In one post I’ll write about being desireless.

In another, I’ll write about how you have to stop looking at yourself as a student, and start acting like an actual guy who is good with women.

In another, I’ll talk about frames of reference.

You get what I’m saying.. :)

Well, what I’ve come across is an ebook which actually unifies all of the theories that I have, plus more that I’ve never even thought of, and then ties them together with the ancient writings of the Tao De Ching.

The Tao of Dating, by Dr. Alex Benzer (Harvard grad with a PHD), is far and away the most incredible tool I’ve ever seen with regard to improving your inner game.

Without giving too much away, the main philosophy is as follows:

1) Wealth-consciousness: there is great abundance in the
world, and you are unquestionably entitled to it

2) Enlightened self-interest: your long-term fulfillment
comes from actions that are good for everyone in the long
term

3) Be-Do-Have mentality: the correct actions come from
being someone, not doing something

He then goes into the exact beliefs and attitudes that you must have. And he doesn't just give you "you are the shit". He'll tell you, for example:

Belief Number 2.

2. I am complete exactly as I am. This belief is corollary to the one above about accepting the universe (since you are, after all, part of it). But it deserves special emphasis, because it would seem that fully accepting yourself is not consistent with reading a self-improvement book. This is not necessarily the case. What this belief emphasizes is that, at any point in your life, you are fully accepting of who you are right at that moment. Its not as if right now youre not okay, and there is some point at which you will be okay. You are okay at every point in the process, because you are a creature of never-ending growth and improvement. There is no endpoint, because the only endpoint is now, and there is no time when it is not now. Be comfortable in your skin always; it is the most fundamental aspect of attractiveness. And although you may just be the seedling for a great redwood now, you are still that big tree in essence, at every point along the way. Its just that you keep on growing. And just as the redwood needs water and nutrients to grow, so do you ...

It’s really is eye opening.

Then, finally, he talks about the techniques necessary to carry out your interactions successfully.

Look, you guys know how much I care about you. My only goal in this blog is to help you become what you want with women. I’ve been on this journey. I know what it’s like, and if I had had this book, I would have cut six months off of my learning curve.

This will really will help you more than you can imagine.

Do youself a favor and check it out: The Tao of Dating

I'm going to be posting ALOT this summer about concepts related to the book, as they provide a great starting point for discussion of some really important topics

Think of it as our class textbook. Seriously :)

Again, you can get it here

Breaking Through

2006-05-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

For the past five months I have been trying to help you. I've been giving a little sprinkle of knowledge here, maybe a little technique or two there.

Recently, a few readers of the blog have had major conceptual breakthroughs, shifts in their paradigms that will really help them lead more amazing, fulfillng lives. If you want to see what I'm talking about, read through the most recent comments.

I just want to tell you how happy this makes me. There's no better feeling.

I'm realizing more and more how much of this game is played on an internal evel. It's all inside.

My posts have been becoming more and more zen-like as some of you have metioned, but really, that's what you need. Trust me.

Recently I found a resource that embodies just about everything I've been saying, and then expands on it. It's really an incredible tool. When I read it, I felt like I was listening to really-really-really smart/well spoken version of me, with about ten years more experience. I'm actually just finishing it up now, but when I get through it entirely, I'll post a link. I'm sure that it will be life changing stuff for you guys.

Take care, and remember, if you've got questions, just comment on the blog! It's free coaching :)

Kino

2006-05-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

Something I never really talk about is Kino. I don't know why it's eluded me for so long, for this I'm sorry.

Some thoughts:

Do it early. Do it like you'd do to your buddy Jim (or Brian, or Rob). Do it to everyone. Guys, Girls, pets...

Also, don't look at your hand; doing so makes you look awkward.

When you're on, touching people is something that you do unconciously, but nonetheless, its something that you should remember before you go out.

Touching people shows that you are confident. It also shows that you are endearing.

So please, go out and touch someone..

Finally, thanks to everyone for getting real active with the commenting. Some really great conversation.

What do we think of the new name/look?!?!?

Listen

2006-05-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

The one who listens more fully has control of the interaction.

Conversation Topics

2006-05-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

A prevailing thought in "the community" is that you don't want to talk about commonplace topics - the thought is that everyone else does that, so you've got to be different.

This "rule" is just about the biggest piece of shit that I can think of.

If you're on a college campus, and you see a girl is holding a bio book -- talk about bio! Ask her what she thinks of the class, how it fits into her life plans. Talk about how you were studying biology in your psych class the other day..

"Topics" are just vehicles for you to relate to each other and vibe. Topics arn't important.

If you're staying on a surface level - regardless of the topic - you won't have a succesful interaction.

If you can take a conversation deeper and discuss feeligns and emotions -regardless of the topic - you will be rewarded with an incredible interaction, as well as something to do later that night.

Go to any bar and watch the naturals work. They arn't telling girls about best friend tests, they are talking about school, work, vacation, art, music, news...

They are just doing so in a way that lets the girls recognize their commonalities and create connections.

A final word on this subject - don't be afraid to ask generic questions - at first. "So what do you do?" Is a great question. You can't stop there, you have to go deeper. You have to relate to her. But don't be afraid to ask informational questions, they're a neccesity.

Be Yourself?!?

2006-05-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

What is game?

Game is being yourself. Period.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Now, alot of you will say "that's what my mom told me...and it didn't work!"

Look man, your mom loves you a fucking lot, and she wants the best for you. So you know what? She gave you the best advice in the world.

At no time did she ever tell you "Be someone you arn't" or "Be mean to girls, they love it" or "Honey, just brag about your allowance"

So why didn't it work? Because you stopped listening to her, the one person who cares about you most in the entire world - and you started listening to your friends and to society at large.

This is where shit gets screwed up.

This is where you were taught to be mean.
This is where you were taught that you weren't good enough.
This is where you were told that only guys with money and looks get the girl.

Being yourself is the only thing in the entire world that will ever a.) get you girls and b.) make you happy.

If you practiced and ran mystery's routines for 1,000 days straight, you'd probably be able to pick up girls, because shit, his stuff has been proven to work. But how happy would you be? How much of this success would you attribute to yourself, and how much to some internet guru's lines?

I digress..

Being yourself is the most universally attractive trait.

"But Spitkicker, I've tried being myself. For the last F&^%(*ING TIME IT DOESN'T WORK!"

And to this i say:

"Shut the f*ck up and listen to me: If you havn't gotten girls, it's because you wern't yourself, you were something else. Maybe you were defensive. Maybe you were trying to act macho. Maybe you wern't comfortable enough to open up. Maybe you were at a loss for words. These conditions all prevent you from expressing your true self. This true self is what will make you beautiful"

Be Desireless

2006-05-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

You've heard it before, and I'll repeat it again, "Be Desireless"

You truly can't care about the outcome of the interaction. Now, this is not the same thing as being indifferent or cold.

Alot of guys hear this and think "Be Desireless? Hmm, that means that she can't know that I like her!" or "I have to tell her she's ugly and that she's like a spolied little girl". These guys are missing the point.

Pretending that you're not interested in a hot girl is something that every guy tries in the 5th grade, and it doesn't work. Then they try it again when they are twenty. Still, it doesn't work!

You can show interest, be fascinated by her, and let her know how wonderful she is. This is all part of game. Being true to yourself, being true to others, and making others feel good about themselves.

Wait, Spitkicker, I thought you said "be desireless?"

Desire: "To wish or long for; want."

Just because you're fascinated by something doesn't mean you wish for it or you long for it. Just because you let someone know that they're special doesn't mean that you long for them.

Desire = neediness

You just can't be outcome oriented. You can't be thinking "wow, I want to get this girl in the sack" or "what the hell can I say to get her to come home?"

When you are nothing but nice to her, are vibing with her, letting her know how wonderful she is, relating to her on a very real level, but not reeking of "desire", she's yours.

Risk It

2006-05-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

When it comes down to it, running game is about taking risks. PERIOD.

When you fail to take risks that you know you should have, the following happens:

Wow, I should have made a move on that girl, she loved me --> I keep getting so close but I don't know what to do --> I should go read some stuff on fast seduction, they'll get me straightened out! --> Cool techniques, I need to try these! --> (2 days later) Shit, I couldn't make my move --> Back to Fast Seduction, I need to get this figure out!....

Has this ever happened to you? Seriously. Has it?

There's only one thing that you need to do. Take risks. There's no message board out there that will take the risk out of approaching/escalating w/ a woman.

The only thing you can do is grow some balls. Trust yourself. Do stuff you normally wouldn't do. Do it from your heart. Not a website.

It's Not a Videogame...

2006-05-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

First, I want to apologize for not having posted in over a month. I was extremely busy, but I'm back now, and better than ever :) Spitkicker 2.0, if you will.

I want to address a mindset that can be extremely detrimental to someone trying to figure this stuff out. This is the mindset that "This is a game, with many rules and skills, that I have to learn".

While this game analogy can be helpful...errr...sort of..it will most likely just screw you up.

You see, relating to people, expressing your interest to a beautiful woman, and living a fufilling life are all things that we are capable of RIGHT NOW. You were born with these abilities , you just have to bring them out of yourself. It's not something that you learn, its something that you draw from within yourself and something that you experience

The game analogy will ultimately convolute things. It will give you a reason for your failure - "I keep getting stuck in S1" when the answer is really "I have to be more open with women".

Also, In a situation where you are absolutely rocking a set, getting the hottest girls laughing and touching you, you will at times be inclined to think "oh shit, I don't know the next step....what did that manual say again?...errr..I have to eject."

Do you see how this could happen? It used to happen to me all the time.

Thinking in the field is not good. You want to minimize it. Like I've said before, Juggler once said to me "Err, yeah..generally thinking isn't good". If you're not gonna listen to me, at least listen to this guy, he's the best in the world.

Again, this is not a videogame. There are no rules...well farting is generally bad on a first impression...but if you don't know what to do next, stop thinking and just go with your gut.

How to Run Game

2006-04-17T01:32:00.000-07:00

On opening:

The first words really don't mean much. They don't have to tie into your second or third topic of conversation, they simply have to break the silence. Let the silence linger too long and your window of opportunity closes... "Hi" works pretty well. Nine times out of ten, you're going to want to follow this with something light and situational. Look into yourself for this one. What's something that you're experiencing? Chances are she's feeling/thinking something similar.

Your Intent:

Make your only goal in any interaction to find out as much as you can about the other person. Who are they? Where are they coming from? Where are they going? What are there hopes/dreams? Relationship situation/experience? What are they studying? Really care about this stuff. Take a vested interest in them and they will open up to you.

Your Vibe: Chatty, friendly, cool, curious

Your tool of choice: The vacuum. Read about it in Juggler's "How To Be a Pickup Artist"

How to know she's into you:

She's talking fast and acting like you would if you were nervous. She's stumbling over words. She's telling you stories. She's trying to entertain you. After a little while, stop with the questions. She will then start reciprocating "So...umm....what are you studying?" Give her a little information to reward her effort and then turn it back to her. How does SHE feel?

Let her know you're listening:

Periodically ask her to clarify points. Ask her to explain where
exactly she's from because you're not sure where that's near. Refer
back to early parts in the conversation and bring up things she's said.

A great line (credit to juggler):

"So, what type of art do you do?"

This is classic Juggler stuff. All girls think that they are artists and will have some answer ready to go for you. On top of that, they will be flattered that you think so highly of them and they become instantly engaged.

Finally: Act normal. That's all she's looking for. A normal guy who can keep his cool and engage in a social exchange. Not a joker. Not an illusionist. Not an entertainer.

Related Tags: pickup, pickup artist, the game, juggler, pua

Interesting vs. Interested

2006-04-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

There are 2 ways to be attractive.

The first is to be incredibly interesting. The second is to be interested.

Both work incredibly well.

If your goal is to get good with women as fast as possible, you're going to want to figure out how to be interested. Then, over the longer period of time, work on making yourself interesting.

I think this is a big problem with most guys' approach to improving their game. They focus so much of their energy on giving the appearance of being fascinating that they forget to show their interest to women.

You'll be suprised at how much you develop when you stop thinking about yourself and start focusing on others.

The Structure of Vibing

2006-04-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

Vibing is the basis of all interactions. No matter how many tricks or techniques you know (or think you know), without the ability to vibe, you're dead in the water.

Everyone tells you to vibe, but no one tells you how. So without further ado, here's a little structure to help you out.

1) Surface level question: what'd you do for spring break?

2) Level 2 question: Oh, cool, how was that?

3) (a) relate back if something comes to mind that isn't too far of a stretch
(b) "oh, really, how did you feel about that?"

4. If (b) was chose last time, now you relate.

5. You should now be vibing with her... be free and keep it organic. The sooner you get out of your head and stop using this structure, the better.

For an amazing collection of posts on vibing check out Chad's "Hi, I'm a Good Vibe" series of posts at the Charisma Arts Weblog

Charisma Arts

2006-04-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

You guys know how much I love juggler, so you can imagine how excited I was when I found that he's got a new company name and a new website.

They've officially changed the name from "Charisma Sciences Institute" to "Charisma Arts".

Along with the name change, they've totally redone the site, adding new blog entries (Check out "I'm a good vibe" parts 1,2, and 3), podcasts and free trials of all the material. It's really kick ass.

In addition, Juggler's free 14 lesson e-course is nearing completion, and from what I know about it, it's going to blow any other free resource on the internet away. The guy has been working on this thing for almost a year now, and is in the process of tweaking it so that it's just right.

Also, I talked to John, the business manager (his post "the entertainment trap" is discussed below), and he told me about a really cool feature that they are building into the site. I can't talk about it until its finished, but to say that it's going to help improve the quality of alot of guys lives is an understatement..

To access the website, Click Here

Anyways, that's all for now. I've been busy lately, but will be posting tomorrow about how to vibe and take an interaction to a deeper level.

Our Deepest Fear

2006-04-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

On Another Level

2006-03-31T22:27:00.000-08:00

I love to watch people.

When I go out, I see 200 guys in the club all trying to be as drunk as possible and as super loud as possible in order to fit in. Everyone knows that if they can be as outgoing and drunk and rowdy as possible, they won't be forced to have their own identity - they can simply be one of the party guys.

Then I see the 5-10 guys in the place who are operating on a whole different level. These guys are chilling - smiling - and chatting with the girls. These are the 5 guys that are going to get laid - the other 200 are just going to wake up with hangovers.

Part of being alpha - of having a strong reality - is being able to exist on your own wavelength. Just because there are 200 guys in the place acting like idiots, doesn't mean you need to be the 201st.

The Two Most Important Questions You Can Ask A Girl

2006-03-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in scripts and lines. The guys over at Charisma Arts don't either, but I came across a post on the Charisma Arts Weblog that really gives an answer to the million dollar question; "What do I ask her?"

There are 2 questions that should be your your deeper level questions, the ones that you use to get commitment.These are...

1. What was that like?
2. How do you feel about that?

The questions are AMAZING. Make sure to ask each one of these in every interaction in the next week.

Stay tuned for more on this subject...

Opening Technique

2006-03-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

Figured this fun little open technique out today.

If you're walking behind a cutie and there is a door somewhere in the near future, drop back a few feet - just enough so that she knows you are there, but far enough back that she has to hold the door open for you.

When she holds the door open for you, she will be waiting for you, looking at you square in the eye.

Smile warmly. Open her up with a friendly "Oh thanks. You're the nicest girl i've met all day!"

Don't do this sarcastically. Be genuine and playful. It's a great way of making the approach seem natural.

Addition By Subtraction

2006-03-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

When two strangers stand next to each other, there is an undeniable tension.

A few weeks ago, while at the airport, I was standing behind a cute girl at the baggage claim. We both knew the other was there, tension was growing.

You aren't the only one that feels it, trust me. She does too.

This is a good thing.

As soon as I opened her and started relating to her, she LOVED me.

Not because I'm all that she had ever been looking for,(though I admit, I was pretty smooth), but because I had just relieved the tension.

As humans, we move away from pain and toward pleasure. I had taken away the pain of awkward silence and replaced it with a pleasurable interaction.

Next time you are having doubts about how you will be recieved, think about this.

You don't have to impress her, you will accomplish that solely by openening her up and engaging her.

Emotionally Contagious

2006-03-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

When two people interact, their voices, facial expressions and mannerisms synchronize. The emotions are literally "contagious" and spread from one person to another.

Your job as a seducer is to spread the right kind of energy. Relaxed, playful and at ease with yourself.

Spread the wrong kind of energy and its over before it begins.

An interesting book on the subject is Malcom Gladwell's "The Tipping Point". It's a fascinating book and explains many concepts related to seduction. Give it a look.

The Game is Simple

2006-03-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the game seems overwhelming. Too much to remember...too many components...too much stuff to get good at.

Bullshit I say.

The game is really pretty simple. What happens is that we hit our sticking points and when we do, we go out to the internet forums looking for solutions, when in fact, all we really needed was someone to tell us to stop acting like a cocky asshole, or maybe stop with this weird nerve-induced tick that we had.

So now we have thousands of guys that know the techniques but have so much knowldege of seduction that they quit altogether because its so overwhelming.

So look at your game right now. What's your sticking point? How are you going to get past it?

It won't take any special technique either. Maybe it'll just take some balls....

In-field AMOG Footage

2006-03-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

Live in-field AMOG'ing footage...

You saw it here first :)

Winning The Game

2006-03-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

Thinking back over the past few years or so, I realize that I've been with some absolutely stunning girls. I've had great experiences and even better stories. But still, I don't feel like I've "won" the game. No one does. In fact, Style, wrote that the only way to win the game is to leave it...

I think the part of this game that will kill you is the expectation of an ultimate "victory". It's not there, so don't go looking for it.

Maybe the term game isn't a good one. Maybe it's unhealthy.

Looking at an interaction with another human being as a game, as a situation where the ultimate goal is sex and you have to manuver yourself to victory is just wrong. How many of us wanted to grow up to be manipulative and shallow?

How many games exist where you can't win?

The game isn't a game, it's life. And it's real. And it's beautiful, as long as you keep it in perspective.

There's only one attraction technique

2006-03-17T06:21:00.001-08:00

When I started getting into all of this years ago I was searching for a technique that would "create attraction".

First it was cocky funny, then it was negs, then it was swinggcat's push-pull. Which one is the right one?

All of them. When it comes down to it, and I'm sure there's an exception, but the only real technique for attraction is push-pull. Think about it. Cocky is the push funny is the pull. Negs - "Nice nails, are they real?" There's an example of pull push.

So why does push/pull work so well? Because it effects women on an emotional level. Women crave emotion and pushing and pulling is a way to move them emotionally.

Timing of push/pull is very important. Alot of the gurus will tell you to start hitting girls over the head with it right away, not good in my opinion. Go for a playful rapport with the girl first, and then start ratcheting up your value with some fun push/pull. It just makes more sense that way.

Ed Hardy

2006-03-14T21:43:00.000-08:00

For all of you style heads out there...I just got an email from www.edhardyshop.com

They're having a 1 week sale where stuff is up to 75% off.

I ordered myself a pretty cool shirt if I do say so myself :)

For those of you who don't know, ed hardy is "in" right now in LA..mix in a sweet ed hardy shirt with your outfit and you've got that rockstar look...just don't go overboard and wear these shirts every day..thats just weird..

Check it out.

Flashes of Juggler

2006-03-12T18:24:00.000-08:00

I remember reading once, in a post by Juggler, that you'll catch little glimpses of Juggler Method in every day life and when you do, you'll know. Today was one of those days. I started talking to a guy at the pool today at this resort I'm staying at and I could just tell. He was a natural conversationalist and an unintentional employer of the Juggler Method.

He was not a good looking guy by any means, but how he conducted himself in interactions told me that his social skills were second to none.

We really oppened up to each other and I enjoyed talking to him very much, and then I listened to him talk with just about everyone else at the pool, here's what I noticed.

1. Question to get information
2. Reward with smile, enthusiam and interest
3. Open ended question about however the person just responded.
4. Relate back with a story.
5. Repeat

He repeated this sequence numerous times with just about everyone in the pool area, and everyone loved him...including the ladies.

The main thing here that makes it all come together is genuine enthusiam. The only thing on this guys mind was how cool what he was hearing about was. That's what makes it work. It's totally sincere.

Take a look at the structure I've just shown. Get interested in other people, expand your world. Get out of your head - your not THAT special.

If this model of pickup interests you check out Juggler's stuff, especially his ebook, over at Charisma Arts. It's so sincere, so natural, so effective... It's golden. t takes the creepiness out of pickup artistry and helps you become a genuinly cool guy. Check it out Charisma Arts.

Kick Fear's Ass

2006-03-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

You can't sleep with a woman if you don't talk to her. You can't talk to a woman if you can't say hi to her. So Why not just say hi?

Fear

But here's the secret...There is no such thing as being fearless. Everyone is scared, even mystery gets approach anxiety - EVERY time. Courage is the ability to deal with fear and overcome it.

DONT WAIT for your fear to leave you...it never will. All you can do is be courageous and kick its ass.

Open up

2006-03-09T19:19:00.000-08:00

So many think that being aloof..being the cool guy is the answer... Never showing interest.. Never making a connection....

For those of you who know what I'm talking about, consider the following, written by juggler:

Alpha body language is hands below waist and not in pockets, feet spread apart, chin up, a slight smile and taking up space in the universe, relaxed and open.

I find it fascinating that these things are also the ones that make you the most vulnerable. Learn to be able to put your vulnerabilities out there. Drop your guard, look her in the eye and tell her you find her sexy. She could say,"Are you kidding? You creep." But she won't.

The more vulnerable you are the less likely you are to get hit. Take off your armor and hand her the sword. You will be surprised how often she will toss it aside and come into your arms.

Read it again. Take it to heart. These might be the most important words you have read in a while.

Flip the script

2006-03-07T17:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it sure can seem like girls just don’t want it.

A few weeks ago,I was out at a bar chatting up a few cute girls, when all of the sudden the girl that’s been shooting me IOI’s turns her back on me and begins to ignore me.

Now, I know just about all there is to know in terms of social dynamics, and I could tell that she was trying to play hard to get, but still, for a few moments there, It made me feel like shit.

Game over, right? She had won….Not so fast..

I started to think…wow, look how much makeup she’s got on. Look at those uncomfortable shoes. She must have spent a lot of time straightening that hair. That pushup bra must be cutting into her back. She sure spent a good deal of money on those Gucci sunglasses.

Then it hit me. This girl ..shit all girls…are just female PUA’s, peacocked and waiting to get their freak on. In fact, this particular pua was trying to run push/pull with me….and I should be upset because..??

A few seconds ago I thought I was getting blown out, now I realized that I was getting gamed! BEAUTIFUL.

I smiled at my new realization, and opened her again, unphased…

PS The night ended with a bang.

Summer Lovin'

2006-03-05T15:00:00.000-08:00

In about three months you will be at the beach, there is almost no way around it. Summertime can be a blessing or a curse for your game.

Take a second to imagine yourself standing on the beach with ripped abs, powerful pecs, and thick arms.

I'm serious man, do it.

Now, picture yourself again, but this time with a pudgy stomach and toothpick arms.

If you actually did this, you see how different you feel inside as you imagine it. It's incredible, really.Now, when you're out on the beach this summer, the feeling that you experience will be the same.

In pickup, your inner state is projected onto your girl. Which inner state would you rather project?

Also, as shallow as it sounds,girls like muscles. Though your looks matter much less to women, having a great body can take you from a 5 on the looks scale to a 8 or 9. The more attraction you can generated through your looks, the more time you can spend being real with a girl and getting to know her.

The great thing about this aspect of your game is that you have 100% control over it. Fat loss guru, Tom Venuto, says that 12 weeks is all that is needed for a complete body transformation, and guys...there are about 12 weeks left!

Make today the day that you change. Not tomorrow. Today.

Here's what has worked for me, I call it the 6 step plan

6 small meals a day
5 sessions of morning cardio per week.
4 days of weight lifting a week
3 days of rest
2 cheat meals weekly
1 goal. A new body

Following these guidelines are a great start.

If you still have any questions, I recommend that you check out Tom Venuto's free Newsletter.

This guy is single handedly responsible for helping me get the body I always wanted. He's the real deal. Check out his newsletter here.

PS. I have his ebook as well and I'd say that it's the best 30 something bucks I've ever spent..

Again, the newsletter can be found here

I don't give a fuck

2006-03-03T00:15:00.000-08:00

So the beginning of my night was interesting...I'm in the wrong headspace, I'm approval seeking and girls can smell it.

I recognize this and kick back. I get some drinks with my boys and spread out. I look around at everyone...I feel like they are so...generic... A girl that I've met a few times before can feel my vibe...she comes and wants to chat me up. Moments later she leaves...only to return when she sees I'm unfazed by her abscence. I'm just kickin' it.

Then, a half hour later, I emmerge from the VIP lounge as a new man.

My head tilted back. My demeanor calm. My eyelids heavy. My mind is clear.

Girl 1 tries to make out with me. Girl 2 introduces herself, "Hi, I've seeen you around, I'm such and such" Girl 3 wants to dance. Girl 4 is standing right next to me, hoping that I approach.

What's different? My state. My outlook on the world...

This game is played in your head. If you're ever having a bad night, fix your thought patterns, and the external world will change around you. It's not a theory of mine...it's jus the truth. You don't deserve any less.

And yes, I'm drunk. :)

Love you guys..

Entertainment tonight

2006-02-25T17:49:00.000-08:00

The objective in pickup is not proving to others that you are cool, or rich, or funny. The objective is simply this; draw other people out of their heads and engage them.

Too often, beginners are taught strategies, routines, and stories that leave them acting like clowns instead of cool guys. Sometimes, even the seasoned pros fall into this trap.

John Henson, the business manager over at CSI calls this the "entertainment trap". Below is an entry that he posted on his blog.
-----

The Entertainment Trap

Its soooo easy to do - fall into the entertainment trap. I found myself doing it last night.

I was out at a local college bar for $3 beer pong with a few friends. I was enjoying conversations with a few friends new and old, and while my beer pong arm was hurt, it was a fun night. Ran into some girls I haven't seen in awhile. Then I saw Nicole.

Nicole has been "dating" my friend Will for a few months. Very attractive girl and friendly as can be; I think she's 20. But Nicole very much buys into the U of M Attitude. Its the weirdest thing: if a girl knows you or someone you know, you're best friends. If you don't have any connection to her, you are CRAP and are not allowed to talk to her. Its certainly not like this with all of the girls, mostly the sorority scene and its periphery. Anyways, it drove me batty until I got on the facebook (like friendster for universities) and realized how many people I knew here.

So, I said hello to Nicole. We'd only met once before, briefly, and we'd forgotten each other's names. Anyways, the conversation starts and before I know it I'm in Presentation Mode.

Presentation Mode is one of John's business alter-egos. Its the guy who used to present to venture capitalists and other potential investors. Now, you typically get one of two things from this audience, both of which I'd developed instinctive responses to:
1.) blank stares until you're done: move on, pour forth more energy, try to engage them. You're afraid to stop for a moment because you know if will be uncomfortable.
2.) lots of questions out of left field that can derail you. So you acknowledge their question, offer some kind of pat answer or an "I don't know", and you get back to your presentation.

Shortly before I'd started talking to Nicole, I'd been telling a friend about an idea I had for a new class of investment, and was definitely pitching. This state carried over as I started talking to Nicole. I just told story after story, every now and then asking questions, but only to advance my conversational agenda (which was to entertain). I offered a bunch of information about myself without making her ask for it. Just sloppy salesmanship.

The problem with this is not that she didn't want to stick around. She was hanging on my words. But something weird happened - two of her friends came by and she didn't introduce me. I'm ALWAYS introduced. And I realized that I'd fallen into the Entertainment Trap. I'd been providing so much of the energy and giving her so little ability to be assertive that by the time her friends came along, it was a little reprieve for her. 10 seconds was enough, then she was back.

Even though I had no goal with Nicole other than friendly conversation, I'd violated all of our rules. Create a vacuum. Be comfortable with silence. Don't offer too much information. DON'T ENTERTAIN TOO MUCH!

Entertainment can be a great way to be interesting to someone, but it ultimately makes things harder as your relationship with that person evolves. They have not made a commitment to the interaction commensurate with your own. They will always be wondering why you really enjoy spending time with them - are they a subject of a 2-way interaction, or an object of your self-indulgent need to have people listen to you?

---

Have you ever found yourself in this spot before? Chances are you have..
There's alot of great stuff over in the passport section of the Charisma Sciences website, which is where this post came from. I encourage you to check it out. Their writings are light years of mine, but hey...I'm getting better :)

What Makes YOU so special?

2006-02-22T11:07:00.000-08:00

You MUST be different from every other guy. Sounds tough doesn’t it? Well its not. You yourself don’t actually have to be different, but you have to act differently. What’s the secret?

The “secret” isn’t to act cocky and funny, or to act like an asshole, or to act like a nice guy, or anything else.

To tell you the truth, you shouldn’t be anything else besides what you really are at your core. If you start acting like someone that you aren’t, best case scenario is that you will end up attracting women to your fake personality, and not the real you. Even after you add many notches to your belt, you will feel still feel empty inside because you attribute your success with women to this persona, and not the real you you. Now, that’s the BEST case scenario.

Worst case scenario, and the more likely of the two is that you will begin to act in a weird, uncalibrated way. You start acting mean to girls who are genuinely into you. You start putting other guys down. You start acting like someone who has something to prove. Girls pick up on this and won’t touch you with a ten foot pole, no matter how funny you think you’re being.

Ok, so enough with telling you how not to be different…what should you do?

You need to take your interactions with women, and people in general, to a deeper level than they are used to having.

Everyday we interact with more people than we can even keep track of. We have little surface level conversations that we have for no other reason than to kill silence and keep us moving along in our own little worlds.

Every so often, when we are lucky, we have an interaction that moves us, one where we find our selves connecting with another person on a deeper level. Not necessarily about religion, or mortality…it can be about anything really, but there is a deeper connection.

In these interactions we are so excited to be sharing our time and space with another person, that everything around us seems to disappear and the only thing on your mind is how you can’t wait to relate to what your friend is saying. You feel a rush of energy inside. You are connecting.

These are the interactions you will be having with women after your read this book and this is the reason that you will be different from every other guy in the room. You will be communicating and vibing with her on a totally different level then anyone else, and no one else will be your competition – you are literally flying above the race.

Naturally the next question is, how do we have these interactions?

More to come on this in the future, but if you can't wait to start having this type of success, check out juggler's "How to Be a Pickup Artist". He does a phenominal job at explaining how to take interactions deeper using his technique that he has termed "the vaccum".

This technique alone is the basis of my game now and when applied correctly, it WILL make the difference. Learn about it Here.

Permission

2006-02-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched a guy get blown out of set simply because he was permission seeking.

When you approach a stranger to talk to them, YOU have to be the one who decides if you're supposed to be there, not them. Society tells us that strangers are bad, so if you act like a stranger, you will be treated like one.

If you act like an old friend...do you need her permission to sit down with her? Do you need her permission to chat?

An important principle in pickup is that your internal state will reflect onto the girl you are approaching. You want this to be warm, confident, relaxed, and playful. You do not want to hesitate. If you do, then she will too.

Watching Gunwitch Method In Action

2006-02-18T15:39:00.000-08:00

The other night I witnessed something awesome.

One of my "natural" buddies - NOT A GOOD LOOKING GUY- seduced a girl in about 5 minutes, using nothing but straight gunwitch method.

The club was closing at about 2 am and he was, as usual, looking for someone take home. I've never seen him run his game before, but I've heard his stories.

He walks up to a girl he's never even met before, just starts talking and immediately goese into sexual state. The tonality was there. The sleepy eyes. The closing physical space.

At first she didn't seem comfortable with it, but after about 5 minutes of talking to him, she couldn't keep her hands off, i've never seen GWM run perfectly, and now that I have, I've got to say it's pretty mind blowing.

Not "solid game", but if you're into sex...gwm might be for you. :)

You can check out Gunwitch's "Dynamic Sex life here

The Web of Seduction

2006-02-16T18:29:00.000-08:00

When you see your buddy who gets all the chicks you are amazed.

You go up to him after he chats up a cutie and you ask him "how did you just do that? What did you say?"

He replies "You know, just did my thing and shit."

Is he hiding anything from you? No. Does he want you to succeed? Sure, why not?

So what is it that he's doing?

He's being congruent to himself. And that means beign congruent to the type of guy that girls want.

Next quesetion would be, well, what do girls want?

Someone who can lead.

Someone who can remove the awkwardness from the first interaction (any interaction, really) and lead it from mundane, to deep, to the bedroom.

This my friends is game. Girls are thinking about you fucking them the second they meet you, they just can't act on it. Take it upon yourself to liberate them, to smoothly lead them from one step to the next while delicately fending off their anti-slut defense.

Think of it like this. You meet a girl and you two walk up to web of strings connected between two trees. There are holes in this web, some big enough to fit the two of you through.

There is one objective , make it to the other side.

There are two rules

1.You, the man, are the only one who can speak
2.No one can touch any of the ropes

You have to lead. You have to take her to the other side without either of you touching the strings (triggering anti slut defense).

Game on.

Style is THAT important...

2006-02-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

Style is a critically important part of pickup

When you show some flare with you style, some attention to details, girls NOTICE. It's almost like saying to them "Look, I get it, I understand you guys." Fashion is a female thing and showing them that you understand is showing them that you understand women.

Women like social men. In fact, most game relies on conveying to them that you are of high social status (being an interesting conversationalist, disqualifying yourself, small awareness radius, relaxed, interested in others).

In my opinion, dressing with style shows little about who you inherently are. There's no way you're going to tell me that all of the guys rocking the same outfit are the same person.

Instead, it shows your social sense. It shows how intelligent you are when it comes to social issues. Having a high social sense indicates high status. Think of someone with high social sense. How do they dress? Now think about the kid who sits in the front row of chem class...sneakers untied, flannel shirt, sweatpants.

When you show style, you are NOT faking it. If you are aware enough to don a certain outfit, then you are equally as socially aware. It's not something you've faked. It's just something that you've chosen.

When you dress correctly, women will open you. It's their only opportunity to open you and they will take it at every chance given.

Stop thinking. Start thinking.

2006-02-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

Something that Juggler told me that I will always take to heart.."Yeah, in pickup, thinking is generally bad."

When you're thinking, you're not thinking. You're using your 133 mhz processor, your conscious brain, instead of your 6 gig processor, your subconscious.

I know all this conscious vs. Subconscious stuff sounds like mumbo jumbo. Trust me. I know. But it's also REAL.

When you are in "state", you are running on you unconscious and everything that's coming out of your mouth is aimed at taking you straight toward the bedroom.

When you are thinking too much, planning your next move, waiting for your turn to speak...You are suppressing your subconscious mind. You are operating at an estimated 1 trillionth of your maximum capacity.

So if you find yourself thinking about what to say or do next, STOP. Call it a night in terms of picking up women. Make your new goal "fuck it, I'm just gonna have fun tonight, picking up chicks is for another night...."

You might be surprised at where this takes you..

Valentine's Day Lovin'

2006-02-14T11:53:00.000-08:00

I was torn before making this post.

I really want this be a place where you can get away from all of the bullshit advertisements and stuff in the community and just read about one guy's musings on the game, but at the same time there is a really good deal going on for one day only.

Juggler, who as most of you by now know I am obsessed with :), is offering a 1 day special on his ebook, "How to Become a Pickup Artist". He is taking $10 dollars of the ebook (25% off of the total price) for Valentines day.

I have read this book countless times and this was the book that after years of confusion really set my mind straight. If you have been thinking about getting the book, today is the day. If you havn't been thinking about it, then what the hell is wrong with you? :) To get it click here

I'm giving away my seduction stuff..

2006-02-13T06:13:00.000-08:00

So I decided that I wanted to do something to spice up the blog a little bit. You know, show you guys a little DHV (Demonstration of High Value for you non-Mystery guys).

So, I've decided to give you guys my entire collection of seduction material that I've acquired over the years...one piece at at time. This could be fun :)

First up, "Surviving the Game of Dating" audio series.

It's 3 hours of Tyler and Style telling it how it is. For a full description, click
Here!

The drawing for it will be on the 21st of February (a week from today) and the cd set will be shipped out the same day, all expenses paid by me.

Be sure to respond to the confirmation email. This is done to make sure that no one is cheating. Also, VERY IMPORTANT the confirmation email may be in your "spam" folder. If it is, dig it out!

Real(ly) Screwed Up Social Dynamics

2006-02-13T01:49:00.000-08:00

The world works in mysterious ways.

Intuition would say that when you try to achieve something, your chances of accomplishing your goal are increased. Experience tells you otherwise.

Now I'm not telling you to give up on life here, really, I'm not!

Hear me out. In the realm of social dynamics, and in our case, pickup, when you approach something in an outcome-oriented fashion, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Consider the following:

The guy who tries to make everyone laugh is going to end up laughing alone at his own jokes.
The guy who brags about his BMW is going to end up riding home alone.
The guy that tries really hard to get rapport with a girl is going to get a polite "I have to use the bathroom".

The solution:

Lose your outcome orientation. Kill it. Kick it's ass. Seriously man.

The moment that you lose your need for a women in your life is the moment that one will enter.

Promise.

Let's make this a community

2006-02-11T18:14:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. I figured out how to turn off the "members only" comment feature of the blog, which means anyone can add a comment now.It's my hope that in doing this, we can come together as a community and exchange ideas. So speak up!

Like Juggler says "loud men don't scare women, quiet men do."

Anyways, I havn't been able to post anything serious today because I've been swamped with school work. Good stuff is coming though, promise ;)

Juggler Podcasts

2006-02-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let you guys know about Juggler's free podcasts. Each show is like 25 minutes long and packed with great info. Just listening to Juggler and co. can have an effect on your game. I know it did on mine. Anyways, Check it out at:

In other news, I ran a pretty cool Awareness Radius experiment today, look for a post about it tomorrow afternoon. It's friday night, get out there!

More on awareness radius and state

2006-02-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

Awareness Radius does an incredible job at explaining the almost magical effects of being “in state”. For those of you just tuning in, being in state, means being in the state of mind where you feel talkative open, confident and happy. This state radiates from you, and often without saying anything, you begin to notice girls shooting you indicators of interest from all over the room.

Before understanding AR (an abbreviation for awareness radius), I believed that state was conveyed through ones’ voice and bodylanguage, however, I wasn’t sure how or why. Now it makes more sense.

When your awareness radius is small, and you are focused. When you are focused on an interaction, you begin to get out of your head. When you are out of your head, your state is triggered. This is not possible by running around the club randomly “opening” people. It requires connecting with other people, possible only when you are focused, and your AR is small..

Your ability to focus on one person at a time is what creates the battle for your attention, which increases your perceived value. When you are working a mixed set, and you are conversing with only one girl at a time, the others begin to vie for your attention. This is communicated subconsciously and there is no need for negs or Cocky Funny.

Also, people not in your set notice that you are having fun and that you are engaging. These people will be drawn toward you. Your small Awareness Radius is what lets others know that you are “in state”, and will be fun to interact with.

I have to run, but there will be more to come on this subject....

Awareness Radius Primer

2006-02-09T12:32:00.000-08:00

The concept of "Awareness Radius" has become a topic of great discussion recently on the mASF forum. Usually I disregard all of these mumbo jumbo theories, but this one is different. The community is on to something here.

What is Awareness Radius?

Awareness Radius is a term that describes what you focus on in your environment. If your AR is big, you are taking in everything around you. If your AR is small, you are focused on what is currently directly in front of you, both physically and mentally.

People with high value have small AR. People with low value have high AR.

A person with a low AR is focused on his current interaction. He is focused on what he is doing, because he believes that where he's at is the place to be. He knows that any conversation he has, or any party that he is at, is where all of the fun is.

conversely, a person with a high AR is always looking around. He is not fully engaged in conversation because he always feels like someone else is having more fun. He is scanning the room for people to suck value from.

Notice the difference?

Look at guys with low AR. They are the ones who, at a club, are engaged in interactions. They are facing their buddies, or girls, because they are confident that they are "where it is at". What girl wouldn't want to be "where it is at?"

Now, look at the guys with high AR. They are facing away from their interactions, with body language suggesting that they are scanning the club for a new person to talk to. It is these guys that get approached the least. They appear needy and low value. What girl wants to approach a guy who is not having fun?

The common example used for awareness radius is Brad Pitt.

If Brad Pitt rolls into a club, how hard is it to get his attention?

Answer: Very.

But why? It's because he believes that what ever he is currently doing is THE BEST. He focuses on what is directly in front of him and the world gravitates toward him, people are sucked into his narrow (low) AR. They are coming into his reality.

A low AR is the mark of a high status person.

To be continued...

A blog worth checking out

2006-02-07T21:38:00.000-08:00

ijjjji of mASF has started a blog. He's got some great diagrams on thought loops. Check out the link here: ijjjji's blog.

Bruce Lee on Seduction

2006-02-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

"Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!"

The Energy of Seduction

2006-02-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

All social dynamics are based around energy. Read that again.

When we interact with other people, we are essentially plugging ourselves into "energy outlets". We draw energy from people who are fun, upbeat, and talkative. We become depleted when we talk to those who are quiet, reserved, and aloof.

Naturally, we gravitate toward those that can supply us with energy and try to stay clear of those who we think will "take" our energy and leave us down.

With this in mind, it is important to calibrate our energy levels going into an interaction. However much fun she's having, be just a little bit more fun than she is. If you guage her as a 6 out of 10 on the energy scale, come in as a 7. Come in as a 5 and she wont give you the time of day. Come in as a 9 and you'll make her uncomfortable. The formula is take her energy and add one.

As the interaction progresses, drop your energy level below the environment. Example: In a club, where you gauge the energy to be an 8, you will come in as a 9. After you open, hook, and begin to build rapport, slowly take it down. You want to be at a 7, or even a 6. Everything around her will being moving fast and you and her will be on the same wave length. She is now standing on an island with you, her new lover.

Social Circle Game

2006-02-01T14:06:00.000-08:00

Often times when you're out with your friends in an environment where everyone knows each other, you may find it extremely difficult to strike up conversations with girls that you already know.

What do you say?

Hey, Chem class was great today!
So, you come here often?
That's a cool scarf, where'd you get it?

It's tough. Even after I was able to do cold approaching, this was still a problem for me from time to time.

Here's what I've discovered works.

Start with "Hi!" and a smile. Immediately KINO. Touch her arm, back, anything.

Make a statement. I've found that in social circle pickup, you have to start with a broad statement, it's a subtle way of controlling the frame and taking lead. Questions just sound weird. So make a broad general statement about the bar "you know, I just love this place"

She will then ask you "why?"

Ball is in your court.

"I really just have a great time every time I come out here. I think it's the intimacy. Like, last weekend at that frat party, I couldn't really connect with anyone because there was too much going on."

SHE WILL AGREE WITH YOU. She will be like, "yeah..i know what you're saying..."

Don't take over the conversation here, there is a "vacuum" (credit to Juggler for this concept) of silence that she will then fill. She will fill it by relating to you and talking about an experience etc.

Then from their just vibe off of what she's saying. So if she's talking about this party over on such and such street, maybe you ask her what she thinks of that street, because you're thinking of moving there. Maybe she tells you about a fraternity party....ask her how she feels about them, or fraternities in general.

Now you two will be on the same page, vibing and having a good time.

Take her to grab a drink. Buy her a beer. OH NO I SAID IT! Share a drink together. Hang out. Bring her into your circle of friends Have fun. Escalate the Kino. You're in.

Style Suggestions vol 1

2006-01-31T10:23:00.000-08:00

Your style, coupled with you body language, gives off your first impression. If you're dressed like a cool son of a bitch (and act congruent with your style), you are going to create attraction.

I thought that it might be helpful to lay out a cool outfit, maybe once a week, to give some guidance. No one else on the web really does this.

The pictures are "clickable" so that if you think an outfit would work, you can grab it for yourself.

The following outfit is something you would wear out to a club:

Look for future editions of this, with different styles etc..

Live in the moment

2006-01-30T00:14:00.000-08:00

The past CANNOT be changed. Tomorrow may never come.

What are you waiting for?

What excuses do you have?

Look man, life goes buy quickly. One day you will be dead. Picture it. No really, picture it. What would you have wanted to do in this present moment? If you're not doing it, then you're not truly living.

Fuck " self improvement". It's mental mastrubation. Live life. Get off the internet. Get out there. Live.

Endless reading of seduction material will NOT MAKE YOU A PICKUP ARTIST. Living every moment to the fullest will.

So don't approach pickup with the frame of "I am a shitty, young, inexperienced student, but I am learning and I will get better as long as I recognize and analyze sticking points". Where is the fun in this?

Instead think like this. "I am out. I am gonna have fun. I am going to make sure everyone is having as much fun as possible. fun. fun. fun. life is fun. because on monday, when I'm sitting at my desk, I'm gonna miss this moment. When I'm dead, I'm gonna miss this moment"

Think about it. Stop being a seduction "student" and start having fun.

Your life is a collection of fleeting moments. Make the most of them.

Calibrate

2006-01-27T19:47:00.000-08:00

Juggler teaches that amatuers rush, while pros take their time.

The scenario is this.

Two girls are waiting for the elevator in a college dorm. One's a brunette, the other is a blonde.

They are mid-conversation.

The second I see them I am thinking about how I can get in on the fun...nothing comes to mind. Instead of getting pissed off at myself about drawing a blank, I simply think, "My time will come" and relax.

We get in the elevator and they are talking about guys.

We are going to the fourth floor - we are now approaching the second. Time is ticking.

Brunette responds to the blonde "He's been calling three times a day?"

Game ON.

I sarcastically say "guys! can't figure them out...". I roll my eyes and smile.

I'm in. They love me.

What did I do here? I calibrated to the situation. I relaxed. I let it come to me.

>

Taking Risks

2006-01-25T14:37:00.000-08:00

"The more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire."

Brian Tracy

Approach.

The Importance of Inner Game

2006-01-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

All game is inner game. There, I said it.

An outer game technique that you learn and apply will work primarily by reprograming your subconcious mind.

For example,

Jealous Girlfriend opener: You start using it, after a few times, you start having success. Girls are responding to you and you are hitting the "hook point" with ease. Now, your subconcious has been reprogrammed. Your self concept used to tell you that you could not approach, because girls would think you were weird. Now, it is telling you that women like you, respond to you, and love talking with you. You can throw the opener out now because who you are has changed.

All game is inner game. The outside world is just a blank screen that your inner world projects on to.

Think about when you are "in state". All of the sudden, people are opening up to you. Girls are hanging on to you. If a chick insults you, you'll fire something witty back with ease, and she will smile, punch you in the arm, and start asking you questions.

This all began in your head, with your emotional state.

Game happens in your head first, and in the real world second.

So the next question would naturally be, what should be going on in my head?

Well, there are alot of things. To get good in this game and be the prize, you have to internalize alot of new beliefs. You have been conditioned and fed way to many beliefs that simply won't help you out. In the coming days I will post on these and offer my own insights.

In the mean while, you would benefit from checking out Gunwitch's Dynamic Sex Life. Gun's work was the first thing that really helped me understand the TRUE psychology of male/female dynamics. This book is pure gold and will help you reprogram your mind. Becoming a pickup artist is all about changing what goes on inside of your head and than letting this project onto the world around you.

Stay tuned for a more in-depth post on inner game.

Contrast is seductive

2006-01-24T20:56:00.000-08:00

Contrast is a most seductive trait.

Displaying it shows a woman that you are a unique, complex, and sexy human being. Women don't want a man that they can "figure out". They want someone who is a mystery, someone exciting.

If you are a badass, soften it up a little bit. Throw some pink into your outfit. Maybe a pinky ring. Get a little romantic.

If you are conservative, start swearing. Spice up the clothing. Scream "Fuck the world!"

You will drive women crazy.

Charm

2006-01-22T14:39:00.000-08:00

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."
-unknown

You personality is conveyed indirectly by how you speak about other people. When you're talking with a girl and a mutual acquaintance comes up, act like he/she is your best friend - be positive! By talking up other people and those that are around you, you convey that you are a positive, secure, fun loving human being.

Speaking highly of others indicates that they would do the same of you. Speaking highly of other guys shows that you don't view them as your competition. Speaking highly of women, especially your ex, shows that you don't secret harbor ill will against female kind.

Also, this can serve as a form of disqualification. If you point out how great another guy looks, she will begin to wonder why you're trying to make her like someone else instead of you.

The key is to make it sound sincere and don't go crazy calling other guys hot...that will take you in another direction entirely...

The voice of seduction

2006-01-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

You know that voice in your head? The one that talks to you and reasons with you.

Kill it.

The best indicator as to weather or not you are in your optimal is that voice. When you are having a good time, are outside of your head, and truly vibing, that voice is gone.

She is able to enter your head because it is not occupied by your internal voice. She enters the void. You connect.

How do you get rid of the voice? You get talkative. You get chatty. The second you enter the venue, or even before, on the street, start chatting. No outcome orientation, just you being a sociable chatty person. Keep doing this, keep warming up. The voice will go away. Your interactions will become less and less structured and more and more spontaneouss.

An hour later, when THE hotty catches your eye, you are compelled to open her. She feels your vibe. You connect.

Focus

2006-01-17T07:01:00.000-08:00

Last night I was at a party where I knew about eighty-five percent of the people. Everyone was grabbing my shoulders, slapping my ass (guys and girls....haha) and saying whatsup. Drinks were flowing. We were having a great time.

I love parties like this, they are a great time, but...

I lacked the ability to focus on one girl at a time.

With so many distractions in my environment, so many things to do, such loud music, i was too busy attracting instead of relating and vibing. I would playfully give a girl the rock and then pull it away at the last second. She would smile and punch in one the shoulder, and then I would move to my next interaction. Sure, I can blame it on the logistics, but I won't. I blame it on my inability last night to focus only on that which was directly in front of me. One person at a time. Not letting my mind jump too far ahead of my eyes.

If you find yourself in a situation where all you are doing is attracting, and not relating, you need to really focus on..well..focus....This means direct eye contact, commited bodylanguage, and good conversation.

Live in the moment and see where it takes you.

The Value of Questions

2006-01-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

Most of the people in the community advocated plowing, 90-10 rule, entertaining. In other words, they say that you have to provide value, you have to roll up, be funny, tell stories and jokes to raise your value. Don’t ask questions, only make statements they say..

I say value can be sub communicated by questions.

When you were a child, and you talked to adults, the conversation was something like this.

Adult: “How was your day Billy?
Billy: “It was good”
Adult: Aww, that’s great, what did you do?’
Billy: “I played on the swings, did arts and crafts, went to my friend Jacobs house”
Adult: “That sounds like a fun day! What did you and Jacob do?”
Billy” We went to Mcdonald’s with his mom…..and then afterwords we played on in the funhouse. And we met his other friend tim, who was there and afterwords his mom let us get milkshakes and then we went back to his house and then…”

How does this relate to pickup? Let me explain…

The underlying assumption in an adult-kid interaction is that the adult must lead, and probe the kid to open up, and then let the kid excitedly talk about himself, while the adult listens, or at least pretends to.

Why is this?

Because the adult has value in that they don’t need to impress the kid. Instead, they are looking for the kid to impress him. Not in the sense that the kid needs to actually impress him, but he is looking for the little guy to just open up. They are adults after all, and what does he need to show the kid about himself?

Secondly, the adult has value in the fact that they have years of conversational experience on the kid, so the adult must lead the conversation and allow the child to open up and express himself.

Notice how in this conversation, the person with higher value asks the questions, shows interest, does not qualify him/herself to the child.

Why should a conversation with a cute brunette be any different?

Think about it…

A special thanks to Juggler’s crew Charisma Sciences Institute who not only inspired this post, but changed the way I think about human interaction. I love you guys.
For more on this topic, take a look at John’s post “the entertainment trap” located in the “passport” section of the CSI website. And finally, check out Juggler’s book. It’s that good.