Saturday, January 14, 2006
My thoughts on David Deangelo
My first exposure to the community was through David Deangelo's Double Your Dating ebook.
I'm sure you've read it. If you havn't, you're lucky.
In his classic title, Double Your Dating, he advised me to be cocky and funny. He told me not to smile. He told me never to give a girl a direct answer. He told me that i should break rapport instead of build it. Armed with this new knowledge, and many other "insider secrets", I headed out into the field.
This shit DIDNT work. The last year or so has been spent figuring out why, and adapting a new approach, which has now landed me where I want to be. Let's look at why Deangelo's advice might not be the gold that everyone makes it out to be...
Cocky and Funny?
Not so fast...
You see, cockiness is a defense mechanism. Its something that low self esteem people use to pretend that they have high self esteem. It's as simple as that, and its so fucking obvious. Women recognize it. I see it everyday and just shrug. Girls do not respond to cocky. Do they like funny? You bet. And if you're funny enough, and say one one of these cocky lines in a playful way with a huge smile, it might even work, but is this what he advises? NOPE. He advocates not smiling, telling us to continue busting their balls even when they want you to stop....
Wait, so your not supposed to smile?
Your smile is a natural indicator of you internal state. Its a signal to everyone around you that you are happy, friendly, approachable, playful, confident. If you've read "The Game", you know that it's one of Mystery's five characteristics of the Alpha Male. Who doesn't smile? People who take themselves too seriously. Is this the type of guy a girl wants? No.
Girls want a fun guy. Fun guys smile. Serious guys don't. Deangelo is flat out wrong.
Break Rapport?
To be continued...
I'm sure you've read it. If you havn't, you're lucky.
In his classic title, Double Your Dating, he advised me to be cocky and funny. He told me not to smile. He told me never to give a girl a direct answer. He told me that i should break rapport instead of build it. Armed with this new knowledge, and many other "insider secrets", I headed out into the field.
This shit DIDNT work. The last year or so has been spent figuring out why, and adapting a new approach, which has now landed me where I want to be. Let's look at why Deangelo's advice might not be the gold that everyone makes it out to be...
Cocky and Funny?
Not so fast...
You see, cockiness is a defense mechanism. Its something that low self esteem people use to pretend that they have high self esteem. It's as simple as that, and its so fucking obvious. Women recognize it. I see it everyday and just shrug. Girls do not respond to cocky. Do they like funny? You bet. And if you're funny enough, and say one one of these cocky lines in a playful way with a huge smile, it might even work, but is this what he advises? NOPE. He advocates not smiling, telling us to continue busting their balls even when they want you to stop....
Wait, so your not supposed to smile?
Your smile is a natural indicator of you internal state. Its a signal to everyone around you that you are happy, friendly, approachable, playful, confident. If you've read "The Game", you know that it's one of Mystery's five characteristics of the Alpha Male. Who doesn't smile? People who take themselves too seriously. Is this the type of guy a girl wants? No.
Girls want a fun guy. Fun guys smile. Serious guys don't. Deangelo is flat out wrong.
Break Rapport?
To be continued...
|| Knoweldge One (Formerly Spitkicker), 3:37 PM
4 Comments:
"You see, cockiness is a defense mechanism. Its something that low self esteem people use to pretend that they have high self esteem. It's as simple as that, and its so fucking obvious. Women recognize it. I see it everyday and just shrug. Girls do not respond to cocky. Do they like funny? You bet. And if you're funny enough, and say one one of these cocky lines in a playful way with a huge smile, it might even work, but is this what he advises? NOPE. He advocates not smiling, telling us to continue busting their balls even when they want you to stop...."
I agree somewhat, although he never says do cocky and funny all the time. He does say do it spasmodically throughout the interaction. It creates attraction through challenge. Also, it's cocky and funny, if she's not laughing, you're not doing it right. I say, 75% funny, 25% cocky. I also prefer to DHV using Mystery's/Style's story telling rather than alot of cocky and funny.
He might say never smile, but if you realize what he means you'll have more luck. He said at the beginning of the book, that these are generalizations. They aren't to be followed 100% of the time, because social dynamics are just that - dynamic.
He says that because most people laugh and smile out of approval seeking behaviour. If you laugh at a girls joke that isn't funny, you're doing more harm than good.
Nice blog though! Good luck with it!
http://attraction-chronicles.blogspot.com
I agree somewhat, although he never says do cocky and funny all the time. He does say do it spasmodically throughout the interaction. It creates attraction through challenge. Also, it's cocky and funny, if she's not laughing, you're not doing it right. I say, 75% funny, 25% cocky. I also prefer to DHV using Mystery's/Style's story telling rather than alot of cocky and funny.
He might say never smile, but if you realize what he means you'll have more luck. He said at the beginning of the book, that these are generalizations. They aren't to be followed 100% of the time, because social dynamics are just that - dynamic.
He says that because most people laugh and smile out of approval seeking behaviour. If you laugh at a girls joke that isn't funny, you're doing more harm than good.
Nice blog though! Good luck with it!
http://attraction-chronicles.blogspot.com
Interesting, in a more recent post, you say it all comes down to "push-pull". Isn't C&F just another "push"?
That's why DeAngelo says use C&F as a spice and not lay it on thick.
That's why DeAngelo says use C&F as a spice and not lay it on thick.
Yep, just another form of push-pull.
My recent post was about attraction technique only.
In terms of overall game, I give very little weight to attraction and alot of weight to connection/rapport.
My recent post was about attraction technique only.
In terms of overall game, I give very little weight to attraction and alot of weight to connection/rapport.
We've created an alternative solution:
www.DutchSeduction.com
It's called Confident and Playful. Check it out.