ZEN and the art of ATTRACTION.

A great quote that I heard earlier today: "Girls don't like sargers, they like attractive men". Amen

With that being said, I encourage you to check out a great post over at SPG's Diaries about just this. Check it out here.

Also, if you havn't picked up a copy of "The Tao of Dating" what are you waiting for?

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve found a resource that is simply amazing.

Over the life time of this blog, I’ve been hinting at certain little ways of looking at life.

In one post I’ll write about being desireless.

In another, I’ll write about how you have to stop looking at yourself as a student, and start acting like an actual guy who is good with women.

In another, I’ll talk about frames of reference.

You get what I’m saying.. :)

Well, what I’ve come across is an ebook which actually unifies all of the theories that I have, plus more that I’ve never even thought of, and then ties them together with the ancient writings of the Tao De Ching.

The Tao of Dating, by Dr. Alex Benzer (Harvard grad with a PHD), is far and away the most incredible tool I’ve ever seen with regard to improving your inner game.

Without giving too much away, the main philosophy is as follows:

1) Wealth-consciousness: there is great abundance in the
world, and you are unquestionably entitled to it

2) Enlightened self-interest: your long-term fulfillment
comes from actions that are good for everyone in the long
term

3) Be-Do-Have mentality: the correct actions come from
being someone, not doing something

He then goes into the exact beliefs and attitudes that you must have. And he doesn't just give you "you are the shit". He'll tell you, for example:

Belief Number 2.

2. I am complete exactly as I am. This belief is corollary to the one above about accepting the universe (since you are, after all, part of it). But it deserves special emphasis, because it would seem that fully accepting yourself is not consistent with reading a self-improvement book. This is not necessarily the case. What this belief emphasizes is that, at any point in your life, you are fully accepting of who you are right at that moment. It’s not as if right now you’re not okay, and there is some point at which you will be okay. You are okay at every point in the process, because you are a creature of never-ending growth and improvement. There is no endpoint, because the only endpoint is now, and there is no time when it is not now. Be comfortable in your skin always; it is the most fundamental aspect of attractiveness. And although you may just be the seedling for a great redwood now, you are still that big tree in essence, at every point along the way. It’s just that you keep on growing. And just as the redwood needs water and nutrients to grow, so do you ...

It’s really is eye opening.

Then, finally, he talks about the techniques necessary to carry out your interactions successfully.

Look, you guys know how much I care about you. My only goal in this blog is to help you become what you want with women. I’ve been on this journey. I know what it’s like, and if I had had this book, I would have cut six months off of my learning curve.

This will really will help you more than you can imagine.

Do youself a favor and check it out: The Tao of Dating

I'm going to be posting ALOT this summer about concepts related to the book, as they provide a great starting point for discussion of some really important topics

Think of it as our class textbook. Seriously :)

Again, you can get it here

For the past five months I have been trying to help you. I've been giving a little sprinkle of knowledge here, maybe a little technique or two there.

Recently, a few readers of the blog have had major conceptual breakthroughs, shifts in their paradigms that will really help them lead more amazing, fulfillng lives. If you want to see what I'm talking about, read through the most recent comments.

I just want to tell you how happy this makes me. There's no better feeling.

I'm realizing more and more how much of this game is played on an internal evel. It's all inside.

My posts have been becoming more and more zen-like as some of you have metioned, but really, that's what you need. Trust me.

Recently I found a resource that embodies just about everything I've been saying, and then expands on it. It's really an incredible tool. When I read it, I felt like I was listening to really-really-really smart/well spoken version of me, with about ten years more experience. I'm actually just finishing it up now, but when I get through it entirely, I'll post a link. I'm sure that it will be life changing stuff for you guys.

Take care, and remember, if you've got questions, just comment on the blog! It's free coaching :)

Something I never really talk about is Kino. I don't know why it's eluded me for so long, for this I'm sorry.

Some thoughts:

Do it early. Do it like you'd do to your buddy Jim (or Brian, or Rob). Do it to everyone. Guys, Girls, pets...

Also, don't look at your hand; doing so makes you look awkward.

When you're on, touching people is something that you do unconciously, but nonetheless, its something that you should remember before you go out.

Touching people shows that you are confident. It also shows that you are endearing.

So please, go out and touch someone..

Finally, thanks to everyone for getting real active with the commenting. Some really great conversation.

What do we think of the new name/look?!?!?

The one who listens more fully has control of the interaction.

A prevailing thought in "the community" is that you don't want to talk about commonplace topics - the thought is that everyone else does that, so you've got to be different.

This "rule" is just about the biggest piece of shit that I can think of.

If you're on a college campus, and you see a girl is holding a bio book -- talk about bio! Ask her what she thinks of the class, how it fits into her life plans. Talk about how you were studying biology in your psych class the other day..

"Topics" are just vehicles for you to relate to each other and vibe. Topics arn't important.

If you're staying on a surface level - regardless of the topic - you won't have a succesful interaction.

If you can take a conversation deeper and discuss feeligns and emotions -regardless of the topic - you will be rewarded with an incredible interaction, as well as something to do later that night.

Go to any bar and watch the naturals work. They arn't telling girls about best friend tests, they are talking about school, work, vacation, art, music, news...

They are just doing so in a way that lets the girls recognize their commonalities and create connections.

A final word on this subject - don't be afraid to ask generic questions - at first. "So what do you do?" Is a great question. You can't stop there, you have to go deeper. You have to relate to her. But don't be afraid to ask informational questions, they're a neccesity.

What is game?

Game is being yourself. Period.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Now, alot of you will say "that's what my mom told me...and it didn't work!"

Look man, your mom loves you a fucking lot, and she wants the best for you. So you know what? She gave you the best advice in the world.

At no time did she ever tell you "Be someone you arn't" or "Be mean to girls, they love it" or "Honey, just brag about your allowance"

So why didn't it work? Because you stopped listening to her, the one person who cares about you most in the entire world - and you started listening to your friends and to society at large.

This is where shit gets screwed up.

This is where you were taught to be mean.
This is where you were taught that you weren't good enough.
This is where you were told that only guys with money and looks get the girl.

Being yourself is the only thing in the entire world that will ever a.) get you girls and b.) make you happy.

If you practiced and ran mystery's routines for 1,000 days straight, you'd probably be able to pick up girls, because shit, his stuff has been proven to work. But how happy would you be? How much of this success would you attribute to yourself, and how much to some internet guru's lines?

I digress..

Being yourself is the most universally attractive trait.

"But Spitkicker, I've tried being myself. For the last F&^%(*ING TIME IT DOESN'T WORK!"

And to this i say:

"Shut the f*ck up and listen to me: If you havn't gotten girls, it's because you wern't yourself, you were something else. Maybe you were defensive. Maybe you were trying to act macho. Maybe you wern't comfortable enough to open up. Maybe you were at a loss for words. These conditions all prevent you from expressing your true self. This true self is what will make you beautiful"

You've heard it before, and I'll repeat it again, "Be Desireless"

You truly can't care about the outcome of the interaction. Now, this is not the same thing as being indifferent or cold.

Alot of guys hear this and think "Be Desireless? Hmm, that means that she can't know that I like her!" or "I have to tell her she's ugly and that she's like a spolied little girl". These guys are missing the point.

Pretending that you're not interested in a hot girl is something that every guy tries in the 5th grade, and it doesn't work. Then they try it again when they are twenty. Still, it doesn't work!

You can show interest, be fascinated by her, and let her know how wonderful she is. This is all part of game. Being true to yourself, being true to others, and making others feel good about themselves.

Wait, Spitkicker, I thought you said "be desireless?"

Desire: "To wish or long for; want."

Just because you're fascinated by something doesn't mean you wish for it or you long for it. Just because you let someone know that they're special doesn't mean that you long for them.

Desire = neediness

You just can't be outcome oriented. You can't be thinking "wow, I want to get this girl in the sack" or "what the hell can I say to get her to come home?"

When you are nothing but nice to her, are vibing with her, letting her know how wonderful she is, relating to her on a very real level, but not reeking of "desire", she's yours.

When it comes down to it, running game is about taking risks. PERIOD.

When you fail to take risks that you know you should have, the following happens:

Wow, I should have made a move on that girl, she loved me --> I keep getting so close but I don't know what to do --> I should go read some stuff on fast seduction, they'll get me straightened out! --> Cool techniques, I need to try these! --> (2 days later) Shit, I couldn't make my move --> Back to Fast Seduction, I need to get this figure out!....

Has this ever happened to you? Seriously. Has it?

There's only one thing that you need to do. Take risks. There's no message board out there that will take the risk out of approaching/escalating w/ a woman.

The only thing you can do is grow some balls. Trust yourself. Do stuff you normally wouldn't do. Do it from your heart. Not a website.

First, I want to apologize for not having posted in over a month. I was extremely busy, but I'm back now, and better than ever :) Spitkicker 2.0, if you will.

I want to address a mindset that can be extremely detrimental to someone trying to figure this stuff out. This is the mindset that "This is a game, with many rules and skills, that I have to learn".

While this game analogy can be helpful...errr...sort of..it will most likely just screw you up.

You see, relating to people, expressing your interest to a beautiful woman, and living a fufilling life are all things that we are capable of RIGHT NOW. You were born with these abilities , you just have to bring them out of yourself. It's not something that you learn, its something that you draw from within yourself and something that you experience

The game analogy will ultimately convolute things. It will give you a reason for your failure - "I keep getting stuck in S1" when the answer is really "I have to be more open with women".

Also, In a situation where you are absolutely rocking a set, getting the hottest girls laughing and touching you, you will at times be inclined to think "oh shit, I don't know the next step....what did that manual say again?...errr..I have to eject."

Do you see how this could happen? It used to happen to me all the time.

Thinking in the field is not good. You want to minimize it. Like I've said before, Juggler once said to me "Err, yeah..generally thinking isn't good". If you're not gonna listen to me, at least listen to this guy, he's the best in the world.

Again, this is not a videogame. There are no rules...well farting is generally bad on a first impression...but if you don't know what to do next, stop thinking and just go with your gut.