Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Be Yourself?!?
What is game?
Game is being yourself. Period.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Now, alot of you will say "that's what my mom told me...and it didn't work!"
Look man, your mom loves you a fucking lot, and she wants the best for you. So you know what? She gave you the best advice in the world.
At no time did she ever tell you "Be someone you arn't" or "Be mean to girls, they love it" or "Honey, just brag about your allowance"
So why didn't it work? Because you stopped listening to her, the one person who cares about you most in the entire world - and you started listening to your friends and to society at large.
This is where shit gets screwed up.
This is where you were taught to be mean.
This is where you were taught that you weren't good enough.
This is where you were told that only guys with money and looks get the girl.
Being yourself is the only thing in the entire world that will ever a.) get you girls and b.) make you happy.
If you practiced and ran mystery's routines for 1,000 days straight, you'd probably be able to pick up girls, because shit, his stuff has been proven to work. But how happy would you be? How much of this success would you attribute to yourself, and how much to some internet guru's lines?
I digress..
Being yourself is the most universally attractive trait.
"But Spitkicker, I've tried being myself. For the last F&^%(*ING TIME IT DOESN'T WORK!"
And to this i say:
"Shut the f*ck up and listen to me: If you havn't gotten girls, it's because you wern't yourself, you were something else. Maybe you were defensive. Maybe you were trying to act macho. Maybe you wern't comfortable enough to open up. Maybe you were at a loss for words. These conditions all prevent you from expressing your true self. This true self is what will make you beautiful"
Game is being yourself. Period.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Now, alot of you will say "that's what my mom told me...and it didn't work!"
Look man, your mom loves you a fucking lot, and she wants the best for you. So you know what? She gave you the best advice in the world.
At no time did she ever tell you "Be someone you arn't" or "Be mean to girls, they love it" or "Honey, just brag about your allowance"
So why didn't it work? Because you stopped listening to her, the one person who cares about you most in the entire world - and you started listening to your friends and to society at large.
This is where shit gets screwed up.
This is where you were taught to be mean.
This is where you were taught that you weren't good enough.
This is where you were told that only guys with money and looks get the girl.
Being yourself is the only thing in the entire world that will ever a.) get you girls and b.) make you happy.
If you practiced and ran mystery's routines for 1,000 days straight, you'd probably be able to pick up girls, because shit, his stuff has been proven to work. But how happy would you be? How much of this success would you attribute to yourself, and how much to some internet guru's lines?
I digress..
Being yourself is the most universally attractive trait.
"But Spitkicker, I've tried being myself. For the last F&^%(*ING TIME IT DOESN'T WORK!"
And to this i say:
"Shut the f*ck up and listen to me: If you havn't gotten girls, it's because you wern't yourself, you were something else. Maybe you were defensive. Maybe you were trying to act macho. Maybe you wern't comfortable enough to open up. Maybe you were at a loss for words. These conditions all prevent you from expressing your true self. This true self is what will make you beautiful"
|| Knoweldge One (Formerly Spitkicker), 3:52 PM
16 Comments:
Great point charlie.
Here's the thing: there's nothing "better, someone girls could find attractive", there's only a "way of looking at life" that girls find sexy.
Very subtle difference, but huge difference overall.
No one needs to change who they are, instead they need to change the way that they view women and the world around them.
I think we're in agreement here.
Also, the term pua, though its in the title of my blog...it's just...i don't know, i don't like it.
Being socially excellent is what this is all about, and anyone who defines themselves as a PUA is giving wayy to much emphasis to this part of their life.
Women arn't something that should define you, just something that should compliment a great life.
Here's the thing: there's nothing "better, someone girls could find attractive", there's only a "way of looking at life" that girls find sexy.
Very subtle difference, but huge difference overall.
No one needs to change who they are, instead they need to change the way that they view women and the world around them.
I think we're in agreement here.
Also, the term pua, though its in the title of my blog...it's just...i don't know, i don't like it.
Being socially excellent is what this is all about, and anyone who defines themselves as a PUA is giving wayy to much emphasis to this part of their life.
Women arn't something that should define you, just something that should compliment a great life.
i've been following your blog and i like it. you make some good points and it's almost zen-like. you're also a juggler guy which is cool. i took juggler charm school a few weeks ago actually.
However, your last 2 posts on being desireless and being yourself are a little abstract. i understand intellectually what you're saying, but how does one enact it or get back in touch with it? perhaps more details on your own personal journey would help. (As Johnny says, I statements are very powerful). cuz let's face it, my mom might have said one thing, and society says another thing, but now you're saying something else. How do we get to our authentic selves?
However, your last 2 posts on being desireless and being yourself are a little abstract. i understand intellectually what you're saying, but how does one enact it or get back in touch with it? perhaps more details on your own personal journey would help. (As Johnny says, I statements are very powerful). cuz let's face it, my mom might have said one thing, and society says another thing, but now you're saying something else. How do we get to our authentic selves?
Hey-
Having been through charm school, you're probably able to understand the stuff that I'm writing about on a different level than everyone else.
Ok so connecting with you on a juggler level..
1.) Being yourself is conveying yourself, through relating to her and sharing your passions etc.
2.) Being desireless = letting go of your outcome orientation. Be in the moment, just to be in the moment. To make friends. To love life. Instead of "desiring" an outcome. Being interested and curious is different from "desiring sex".
For Johnny, sex is not the goal. Fun is. Johhny truly desires fun, and as such, sex is incidental.
Does this explain it a little better?
If not, let me know, and I'll expand on anything you want..
Having been through charm school, you're probably able to understand the stuff that I'm writing about on a different level than everyone else.
Ok so connecting with you on a juggler level..
1.) Being yourself is conveying yourself, through relating to her and sharing your passions etc.
2.) Being desireless = letting go of your outcome orientation. Be in the moment, just to be in the moment. To make friends. To love life. Instead of "desiring" an outcome. Being interested and curious is different from "desiring sex".
For Johnny, sex is not the goal. Fun is. Johhny truly desires fun, and as such, sex is incidental.
Does this explain it a little better?
If not, let me know, and I'll expand on anything you want..
How do we get to our authentic selves?
We have to realize that being ourselves is ok. The only thing that we have to change is our outlook.
We do really just have to be ourselves. The people who get the most p**sy time and time again are the poeple who are most comfortable with themselves.
So, finding your comfortable self?
It's about realizing that who you are is OK and this comfort with yourself is what is ultimately sexy to women.
Some people call this "having a strong frame", but really, it's just believing in who you are and not trying to be anything but your (best) self.
We have to realize that being ourselves is ok. The only thing that we have to change is our outlook.
We do really just have to be ourselves. The people who get the most p**sy time and time again are the poeple who are most comfortable with themselves.
So, finding your comfortable self?
It's about realizing that who you are is OK and this comfort with yourself is what is ultimately sexy to women.
Some people call this "having a strong frame", but really, it's just believing in who you are and not trying to be anything but your (best) self.
ok, but is there anything practical that we can do to achieve this? it's one thing to say: be this way, or be that way, but *how* ?
charm school was good and i only recently took it and am still digesting aspects of it. I've not expanded my skills by leaps and bounds at all but i am trying to incorporate aspects of it into my game.
It might be useful to state how one makes the transition to being yourself. Are you claiming that guys who are having trouble getting girls aren't being themselves? I can buy that actually. There are times when I was just floating and feeling good and I just attracted women.
I think your points are good now that i think about it but i don't know how helpful they are to a guy starting out. That's all my comment really is. To give you a practical example, Johnny said I was in my head too much. I also have a habit of getting booted out of interactions in the first 5 minutes: either i bore the girl and she ejects or i get nervous and i eject.
i identified this sticking point quite early on. Only after 6 months in the community and reading tons of material am I tackling this inner game issue head on. There's no way around it. I need to learn persistence and push interactions as far as they can go. That enables me to be myself.
I have very good female friends and girls actually love talking to me because I can be 'real'. My weakest point is the first 5 minutes when I'm with an attractive woman and I get flustered. Unfortunately those first 5 minutes are the same minutes people judge you on...
charm school was good and i only recently took it and am still digesting aspects of it. I've not expanded my skills by leaps and bounds at all but i am trying to incorporate aspects of it into my game.
It might be useful to state how one makes the transition to being yourself. Are you claiming that guys who are having trouble getting girls aren't being themselves? I can buy that actually. There are times when I was just floating and feeling good and I just attracted women.
I think your points are good now that i think about it but i don't know how helpful they are to a guy starting out. That's all my comment really is. To give you a practical example, Johnny said I was in my head too much. I also have a habit of getting booted out of interactions in the first 5 minutes: either i bore the girl and she ejects or i get nervous and i eject.
i identified this sticking point quite early on. Only after 6 months in the community and reading tons of material am I tackling this inner game issue head on. There's no way around it. I need to learn persistence and push interactions as far as they can go. That enables me to be myself.
I have very good female friends and girls actually love talking to me because I can be 'real'. My weakest point is the first 5 minutes when I'm with an attractive woman and I get flustered. Unfortunately those first 5 minutes are the same minutes people judge you on...
I actually had a discussion at work with a guy about life development. I told him how i was developing conversational skills ( i didn't specify for what purpose!) and such and he basically criticized them as *techniques*. And that they won't bring real happiness.
I used to think like that and it's a crock of shit. It's a cop-out to not invest time and effort in developing skills. It's much easier to keyboard-jockey or spend money on books and read books laying in bed at night than to actively develop skills. I mean as adults, it seems we rarely take time to build new skills. Many people sit on their asses and just watch movies and do passive things anyway. I think skills building is where it's at. If you want to get from A -> B, first you identify what's wrong, and then what you need to move there and how to make progress. That may require building a skill you may not possess. Then you decide on learning the skill (e.g., how to approach, how to seduce, etc) and take baby steps.
I used to think like that and it's a crock of shit. It's a cop-out to not invest time and effort in developing skills. It's much easier to keyboard-jockey or spend money on books and read books laying in bed at night than to actively develop skills. I mean as adults, it seems we rarely take time to build new skills. Many people sit on their asses and just watch movies and do passive things anyway. I think skills building is where it's at. If you want to get from A -> B, first you identify what's wrong, and then what you need to move there and how to make progress. That may require building a skill you may not possess. Then you decide on learning the skill (e.g., how to approach, how to seduce, etc) and take baby steps.
Sorry I'm no expert but I think you're missing the point Anonymous.
You don't "achieve" being yourself. You don't make the "transition" to being yourself. Because guess what...
YOU ALREADY ARE YOURSELF!
Correct me if I'm wrong.
You don't "achieve" being yourself. You don't make the "transition" to being yourself. Because guess what...
YOU ALREADY ARE YOURSELF!
Correct me if I'm wrong.
i disagree with you migel. in some situations we aren't ourselves. or maybe we both agree on different things. who knows? what if ex-prez clinton came up to you on the street (or someone else). you're going to be in your head. you're going to watch everything you say. you're not being yourself. same problem with pretty women; lots of guys including myself become a p**sy version of ourselves, hoping to ingratiate our ways into the girls hearts or we remain aloof.
There are plenty of times i am myself. When I am alone, when i'm in the middle of a task, when i'm surfing the web, when i'm on the toilet, when i'm chilling with friends. The trick is to 'learn' that it's ok to be yourself in front of *anyone*.
i think the advice is good and is true, but there's no real path to get there. everyone has to find his unique path to get there and what they'll find at the end is what spitkicker posts. Getting girls is just like enlightenment; when you don't want it you get it. when you want it, it's the hardest thing in the world to get!
Anyway, the above stuff is what i've learned on my own ; my sticking points that are preventing me from being myself...
There are plenty of times i am myself. When I am alone, when i'm in the middle of a task, when i'm surfing the web, when i'm on the toilet, when i'm chilling with friends. The trick is to 'learn' that it's ok to be yourself in front of *anyone*.
i think the advice is good and is true, but there's no real path to get there. everyone has to find his unique path to get there and what they'll find at the end is what spitkicker posts. Getting girls is just like enlightenment; when you don't want it you get it. when you want it, it's the hardest thing in the world to get!
Anyway, the above stuff is what i've learned on my own ; my sticking points that are preventing me from being myself...
Anyonymous,
Read through my last week or so of posts, I think that they are really usefull for helping a guy at your stage of the game.
Your problem I think, is that you think of this game as a "skill".
It's not. It's a way of being. It's a mindset.
THere's nothing more externally that you can learn, you have to bring out what's inside of you.
Striving to be yourself, is the absolute biggest breakthrough that you can have. It's the one that Juggler and Co at Charisma Arts helped me achieve.
Now, once you're headed in the right direction, then you can work on your "game".
As far as being in your head...it happens to everyone. What you need to do is get the first approach out of the way.
"Warm up sets" are just what the doctor ordered. After that, getting into set just flows.
The first five minutes - It's all about getting her to commit to the interaction. Use the vacuum to get her to open up to you, if she doesn't then open up yourself and she'll feel more open with you.
My guess would be that you're not vacuuming properly, which could be because you're not asking broad enough questions, or you're not waiting for her to fill the vacuum.
Also, realize that you are not your game. If you have a bad set, that's all it means. I've had some terrible nights, but I'm still me, and I know that I have the potential on any given day to pull an absolute hotty.
Hopefully this will help you out a little bit. Please, ask more questions if you've got 'em..
Read through my last week or so of posts, I think that they are really usefull for helping a guy at your stage of the game.
Your problem I think, is that you think of this game as a "skill".
It's not. It's a way of being. It's a mindset.
THere's nothing more externally that you can learn, you have to bring out what's inside of you.
Striving to be yourself, is the absolute biggest breakthrough that you can have. It's the one that Juggler and Co at Charisma Arts helped me achieve.
Now, once you're headed in the right direction, then you can work on your "game".
As far as being in your head...it happens to everyone. What you need to do is get the first approach out of the way.
"Warm up sets" are just what the doctor ordered. After that, getting into set just flows.
The first five minutes - It's all about getting her to commit to the interaction. Use the vacuum to get her to open up to you, if she doesn't then open up yourself and she'll feel more open with you.
My guess would be that you're not vacuuming properly, which could be because you're not asking broad enough questions, or you're not waiting for her to fill the vacuum.
Also, realize that you are not your game. If you have a bad set, that's all it means. I've had some terrible nights, but I'm still me, and I know that I have the potential on any given day to pull an absolute hotty.
Hopefully this will help you out a little bit. Please, ask more questions if you've got 'em..
hey man,
i agree with you about being yourself and i really think that improvement in only 20% of one's game will result in 80% improvement.
However, you *are* advocating skills development, like vacuum'ing and such. I'm doing the post-seminar now and each week is devoted to building up a skill. I'm not saying that the game is a skill. But learning to convey our natural personality requires tweaking depending on the audience and the situation. An analogy is if you're interviewing for a big position. you're going to prepare like hell for it, do roleplays maybe, etc. Similarly, you're not doing daygame the same as nightgame. The first approaches are going to suck because you're not calibrating for example. So decide on what you're doing wrong and re-calibrate and try again. You're building skill at daygame.
I learned my vibe can get too serious too quickly. i was vacuuming on *big* questions at a nightclub but girls don't want to answer or think about the kinds of questions i was asking. i'm learning that my vibing skills require some more calibration.
Maybe we just disagree on the terminology... i have tons of friends and am natural/myself with all of them. It's just with strangers, especially women whom i have issues with. (yea, yea, i know. every AFC seems to have that same problem!)
I had quite a few limiting beliefs about myself. I've learned that my perceptions of what other people think about me are sometimes wrong and i'm mis-interpreting them and i psych myself out. So in order to be myself, i am rooting those out and replacing one set of beliefs with another. how am i doing that? by being more observant in interactions, asking people what they think of me, what their impressions of me are, etc. It's A LOT of work, but then again, achieving anything lofty in life is. It's a re-tooling of oneself. This is what i mean by more practical advice.
did you have to do any of this stuff? how did you get from AFC to PUA?
i agree with you about being yourself and i really think that improvement in only 20% of one's game will result in 80% improvement.
However, you *are* advocating skills development, like vacuum'ing and such. I'm doing the post-seminar now and each week is devoted to building up a skill. I'm not saying that the game is a skill. But learning to convey our natural personality requires tweaking depending on the audience and the situation. An analogy is if you're interviewing for a big position. you're going to prepare like hell for it, do roleplays maybe, etc. Similarly, you're not doing daygame the same as nightgame. The first approaches are going to suck because you're not calibrating for example. So decide on what you're doing wrong and re-calibrate and try again. You're building skill at daygame.
I learned my vibe can get too serious too quickly. i was vacuuming on *big* questions at a nightclub but girls don't want to answer or think about the kinds of questions i was asking. i'm learning that my vibing skills require some more calibration.
Maybe we just disagree on the terminology... i have tons of friends and am natural/myself with all of them. It's just with strangers, especially women whom i have issues with. (yea, yea, i know. every AFC seems to have that same problem!)
I had quite a few limiting beliefs about myself. I've learned that my perceptions of what other people think about me are sometimes wrong and i'm mis-interpreting them and i psych myself out. So in order to be myself, i am rooting those out and replacing one set of beliefs with another. how am i doing that? by being more observant in interactions, asking people what they think of me, what their impressions of me are, etc. It's A LOT of work, but then again, achieving anything lofty in life is. It's a re-tooling of oneself. This is what i mean by more practical advice.
did you have to do any of this stuff? how did you get from AFC to PUA?
love the discussion lets keep it going...
some thoughts:
Interviewing for a big position is a good analogy, but not for the reason you think. You see, interviewing for a big position is a life changing event. It's rigidly structured, you're graded ruthlessly, and the effect can forever change your life. Chances are there are only a few positions like this available...its almost...life or death.
Talking to a girl? Not so much. It's trivial. You might talk to 25-50 girls a day. There are millions of girls out there looking to screw you at any given second.If you fuck up 1 set, on to the next. It's the viewing of interactions as "high pressure interviews" that are screwing you up man. Nervousness is contagious, if you are nervous, she will be. If you are relaxed and playful, she will be.
For night time game - you can never be too playful, that's my advice on that.
I've been working at this stuff for years. I don't care to tell you about the first few, because it hurt me more than it helped. I do wish to tell you about what I've learned in the past year or so from the guys at Charisma Arts (along with a few other guys like badboy, TD, TheONE, Zan, Gunwitch) because they've helped me become a new person..
Hang in there.
Smile
Be Playful
Get out of your head
Be interested.
Realize that there are more important things in life than pickup up girls like...family,values,morals,relationships,friends,work,at,love, happiness.
some thoughts:
Interviewing for a big position is a good analogy, but not for the reason you think. You see, interviewing for a big position is a life changing event. It's rigidly structured, you're graded ruthlessly, and the effect can forever change your life. Chances are there are only a few positions like this available...its almost...life or death.
Talking to a girl? Not so much. It's trivial. You might talk to 25-50 girls a day. There are millions of girls out there looking to screw you at any given second.If you fuck up 1 set, on to the next. It's the viewing of interactions as "high pressure interviews" that are screwing you up man. Nervousness is contagious, if you are nervous, she will be. If you are relaxed and playful, she will be.
For night time game - you can never be too playful, that's my advice on that.
I've been working at this stuff for years. I don't care to tell you about the first few, because it hurt me more than it helped. I do wish to tell you about what I've learned in the past year or so from the guys at Charisma Arts (along with a few other guys like badboy, TD, TheONE, Zan, Gunwitch) because they've helped me become a new person..
Hang in there.
Smile
Be Playful
Get out of your head
Be interested.
Realize that there are more important things in life than pickup up girls like...family,values,morals,relationships,friends,work,at,love, happiness.
Not to be nitpicky, but you say that you learned from these guys above that "they've helped me become a new person". so you did undergo change! One can argue that you are now not yourself! You are a new version of who you used to be.
What I am pointing out is you underwent some change, over a period of years and that's cool. But saying "Be yourself" without some practical advice doesn't do much good to people looking for help with chicks. Maybe some people need to go through MM or RSD and then go through crap only to realize later that they didn't. It's the journey that teaches you.
I can only speak for myself and i am very anti-routine based. It's just not me and I feel in my bones that I am good enough and have enough of a strong identity to attract women. The Juggler stuff appealed to me right from the get-go. However, if guys feel the need to go through the routines, then that's fine. Whatever the hell works, i say.
I like how you ended your last comment with those tips. I truly believe those things and only last week have I started doing them in earnest. I am not just saving those things for pretty women. I am doing it with everyone I come across. I am equal-opportunity.
Also as an example of what i'm doing, i'm stopping women on the street and asking for directions. Before I was scared, now i don't think much of it. Next step is to escalate it and tease a conversation out of them. But just the directions thing builds confidence.
I think the fastest way to learn this stuff is to hang with people who do it. Most of us AFCs don't have role-models in this area of our lives. Even if you have to pay to see these role-models at work, it's worth it. I paid for charm school to see what was truly possible and to see exactly how far Johnny could go in his interactions and it was mind-blowing.
So, Spitkicker, can you tell what's different about you before vs. how you are now? What bothered you before and doesn't now?
you definitely read me right on the nervousness thing (johnny did as well). if you 'care' that much about the interaction, then you're bound to blow it up because of nervousness. if i only do 5 sets a week (or some lame #) then i'm going to care about how they go which only makes me more nervous. One solution: do 100s of approaches!
What I am pointing out is you underwent some change, over a period of years and that's cool. But saying "Be yourself" without some practical advice doesn't do much good to people looking for help with chicks. Maybe some people need to go through MM or RSD and then go through crap only to realize later that they didn't. It's the journey that teaches you.
I can only speak for myself and i am very anti-routine based. It's just not me and I feel in my bones that I am good enough and have enough of a strong identity to attract women. The Juggler stuff appealed to me right from the get-go. However, if guys feel the need to go through the routines, then that's fine. Whatever the hell works, i say.
I like how you ended your last comment with those tips. I truly believe those things and only last week have I started doing them in earnest. I am not just saving those things for pretty women. I am doing it with everyone I come across. I am equal-opportunity.
Also as an example of what i'm doing, i'm stopping women on the street and asking for directions. Before I was scared, now i don't think much of it. Next step is to escalate it and tease a conversation out of them. But just the directions thing builds confidence.
I think the fastest way to learn this stuff is to hang with people who do it. Most of us AFCs don't have role-models in this area of our lives. Even if you have to pay to see these role-models at work, it's worth it. I paid for charm school to see what was truly possible and to see exactly how far Johnny could go in his interactions and it was mind-blowing.
So, Spitkicker, can you tell what's different about you before vs. how you are now? What bothered you before and doesn't now?
you definitely read me right on the nervousness thing (johnny did as well). if you 'care' that much about the interaction, then you're bound to blow it up because of nervousness. if i only do 5 sets a week (or some lame #) then i'm going to care about how they go which only makes me more nervous. One solution: do 100s of approaches!
I am now myself, free from the "front" that i used to put on to the world.
Before, i was not myself. I was myself before I was socialized.
My biggest breakthrough was this:
"Get interested in other people"
You can't just do approaches because you want to fuck. That's not how it works.
You have to develop a genuine interest in everyone around you, not just the hot girls. And even with the hot girls, you have to CARE about what you are asking them.
Get absolutely FASCINATED with everyone you speak to. They will become fascinated with you.
This sort of breakthrough was a realization when I # closed 5 out of 5 hot girls in a span of about two hours.
I wasn't feeling particularly talkative, I was pretty pissed off because my flight had been delayed..so i decided to just approach.
I wasn't feeling particularly expressive, or playful, but I was intrigued by everyone I met.
My only goal was to learn as much as I could about the world around me.
I had girls literally writing their numbers on my arm...
And yeah, watching Johnny is breathtaking...he's incredible..
Before, i was not myself. I was myself before I was socialized.
My biggest breakthrough was this:
"Get interested in other people"
You can't just do approaches because you want to fuck. That's not how it works.
You have to develop a genuine interest in everyone around you, not just the hot girls. And even with the hot girls, you have to CARE about what you are asking them.
Get absolutely FASCINATED with everyone you speak to. They will become fascinated with you.
This sort of breakthrough was a realization when I # closed 5 out of 5 hot girls in a span of about two hours.
I wasn't feeling particularly talkative, I was pretty pissed off because my flight had been delayed..so i decided to just approach.
I wasn't feeling particularly expressive, or playful, but I was intrigued by everyone I met.
My only goal was to learn as much as I could about the world around me.
I had girls literally writing their numbers on my arm...
And yeah, watching Johnny is breathtaking...he's incredible..
thank you my man.
This is very interesting stuff. I'm finding something similar. With my friends, I can be the life of the party. With new people, I shrink into obscurity... I put on a mask. This has nothing to do with WOMEN! It has to do with everyone new I meet. Yet it has always hurt my chances with women. I literally thought i was dysfunctional with meeting women in person and had to use the internet to do so. How ridiculous!
I've been putting on a mask all this time, hiding from the world. Myself as I am is perfect, natural. I don't need anything else. I just need to let it out. With this revelation/realization, I still haven't gotten laid but it doesn't bother me much. I'm working on it, taking steps every day to come out of my shell.
Every interaction I have from now on is a chance to express myself more fully. I see my old habits in action and conquer them. They will all tumble and fall until I step out of my shell. That's the real journey...
This is very interesting stuff. I'm finding something similar. With my friends, I can be the life of the party. With new people, I shrink into obscurity... I put on a mask. This has nothing to do with WOMEN! It has to do with everyone new I meet. Yet it has always hurt my chances with women. I literally thought i was dysfunctional with meeting women in person and had to use the internet to do so. How ridiculous!
I've been putting on a mask all this time, hiding from the world. Myself as I am is perfect, natural. I don't need anything else. I just need to let it out. With this revelation/realization, I still haven't gotten laid but it doesn't bother me much. I'm working on it, taking steps every day to come out of my shell.
Every interaction I have from now on is a chance to express myself more fully. I see my old habits in action and conquer them. They will all tumble and fall until I step out of my shell. That's the real journey...
Incredible.
I remember when I had this breakthrough. It's amazing, really...keep me posted!
I remember when I had this breakthrough. It's amazing, really...keep me posted!
I agree that a PUA shouldn't pretend to be something he's not. That's what players do.
The catch is to be completely proud who you are and not wish you could "have this" or be "like that".