ZEN and the art of ATTRACTION.

Your style, coupled with you body language, gives off your first impression. If you're dressed like a cool son of a bitch (and act congruent with your style), you are going to create attraction.

I thought that it might be helpful to lay out a cool outfit, maybe once a week, to give some guidance. No one else on the web really does this.

The pictures are "clickable" so that if you think an outfit would work, you can grab it for yourself.

The following outfit is something you would wear out to a club:





Look for future editions of this, with different styles etc..

The past CANNOT be changed. Tomorrow may never come.

What are you waiting for?

What excuses do you have?

Look man, life goes buy quickly. One day you will be dead. Picture it. No really, picture it. What would you have wanted to do in this present moment? If you're not doing it, then you're not truly living.

Fuck " self improvement". It's mental mastrubation. Live life. Get off the internet. Get out there. Live.

Endless reading of seduction material will NOT MAKE YOU A PICKUP ARTIST. Living every moment to the fullest will.

So don't approach pickup with the frame of "I am a shitty, young, inexperienced student, but I am learning and I will get better as long as I recognize and analyze sticking points". Where is the fun in this?

Instead think like this. "I am out. I am gonna have fun. I am going to make sure everyone is having as much fun as possible. fun. fun. fun. life is fun. because on monday, when I'm sitting at my desk, I'm gonna miss this moment. When I'm dead, I'm gonna miss this moment"

Think about it. Stop being a seduction "student" and start having fun.

Your life is a collection of fleeting moments. Make the most of them.

Juggler teaches that amatuers rush, while pros take their time.

The scenario is this.

Two girls are waiting for the elevator in a college dorm. One's a brunette, the other is a blonde.

They are mid-conversation.

The second I see them I am thinking about how I can get in on the fun...nothing comes to mind. Instead of getting pissed off at myself about drawing a blank, I simply think, "My time will come" and relax.

We get in the elevator and they are talking about guys.

We are going to the fourth floor - we are now approaching the second. Time is ticking.

Brunette responds to the blonde "He's been calling three times a day?"

Game ON.

I sarcastically say "guys! can't figure them out...". I roll my eyes and smile.

I'm in. They love me.

What did I do here? I calibrated to the situation. I relaxed. I let it come to me.



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"The more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire."

Brian Tracy

Approach.

All game is inner game. There, I said it.

An outer game technique that you learn and apply will work primarily by reprograming your subconcious mind.

For example,

Jealous Girlfriend opener: You start using it, after a few times, you start having success. Girls are responding to you and you are hitting the "hook point" with ease. Now, your subconcious has been reprogrammed. Your self concept used to tell you that you could not approach, because girls would think you were weird. Now, it is telling you that women like you, respond to you, and love talking with you. You can throw the opener out now because who you are has changed.

All game is inner game. The outside world is just a blank screen that your inner world projects on to.

Think about when you are "in state". All of the sudden, people are opening up to you. Girls are hanging on to you. If a chick insults you, you'll fire something witty back with ease, and she will smile, punch you in the arm, and start asking you questions.

This all began in your head, with your emotional state.

Game happens in your head first, and in the real world second.

So the next question would naturally be, what should be going on in my head?

Well, there are alot of things. To get good in this game and be the prize, you have to internalize alot of new beliefs. You have been conditioned and fed way to many beliefs that simply won't help you out. In the coming days I will post on these and offer my own insights.

In the mean while, you would benefit from checking out Gunwitch's Dynamic Sex Life. Gun's work was the first thing that really helped me understand the TRUE psychology of male/female dynamics. This book is pure gold and will help you reprogram your mind. Becoming a pickup artist is all about changing what goes on inside of your head and than letting this project onto the world around you.

Stay tuned for a more in-depth post on inner game.

Contrast is a most seductive trait.

Displaying it shows a woman that you are a unique, complex, and sexy human being. Women don't want a man that they can "figure out". They want someone who is a mystery, someone exciting.

If you are a badass, soften it up a little bit. Throw some pink into your outfit. Maybe a pinky ring. Get a little romantic.

If you are conservative, start swearing. Spice up the clothing. Scream "Fuck the world!"

You will drive women crazy.

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."
-unknown

You personality is conveyed indirectly by how you speak about other people. When you're talking with a girl and a mutual acquaintance comes up, act like he/she is your best friend - be positive! By talking up other people and those that are around you, you convey that you are a positive, secure, fun loving human being.

Speaking highly of others indicates that they would do the same of you. Speaking highly of other guys shows that you don't view them as your competition. Speaking highly of women, especially your ex, shows that you don't secret harbor ill will against female kind.

Also, this can serve as a form of disqualification. If you point out how great another guy looks, she will begin to wonder why you're trying to make her like someone else instead of you.

The key is to make it sound sincere and don't go crazy calling other guys hot...that will take you in another direction entirely...

You know that voice in your head? The one that talks to you and reasons with you.

Kill it.

The best indicator as to weather or not you are in your optimal is that voice. When you are having a good time, are outside of your head, and truly vibing, that voice is gone.

She is able to enter your head because it is not occupied by your internal voice. She enters the void. You connect.

How do you get rid of the voice? You get talkative. You get chatty. The second you enter the venue, or even before, on the street, start chatting. No outcome orientation, just you being a sociable chatty person. Keep doing this, keep warming up. The voice will go away. Your interactions will become less and less structured and more and more spontaneouss.

An hour later, when THE hotty catches your eye, you are compelled to open her. She feels your vibe. You connect.

Last night I was at a party where I knew about eighty-five percent of the people. Everyone was grabbing my shoulders, slapping my ass (guys and girls....haha) and saying whatsup. Drinks were flowing. We were having a great time.

I love parties like this, they are a great time, but...

I lacked the ability to focus on one girl at a time.

With so many distractions in my environment, so many things to do, such loud music, i was too busy attracting instead of relating and vibing. I would playfully give a girl the rock and then pull it away at the last second. She would smile and punch in one the shoulder, and then I would move to my next interaction. Sure, I can blame it on the logistics, but I won't. I blame it on my inability last night to focus only on that which was directly in front of me. One person at a time. Not letting my mind jump too far ahead of my eyes.

If you find yourself in a situation where all you are doing is attracting, and not relating, you need to really focus on..well..focus....This means direct eye contact, commited bodylanguage, and good conversation.

Live in the moment and see where it takes you.

Most of the people in the community advocated plowing, 90-10 rule, entertaining. In other words, they say that you have to provide value, you have to roll up, be funny, tell stories and jokes to raise your value. Don’t ask questions, only make statements they say..

I say value can be sub communicated by questions.

When you were a child, and you talked to adults, the conversation was something like this.

Adult: “How was your day Billy?
Billy: “It was good”
Adult: Aww, that’s great, what did you do?’
Billy: “I played on the swings, did arts and crafts, went to my friend Jacobs house”
Adult: “That sounds like a fun day! What did you and Jacob do?”
Billy” We went to Mcdonald’s with his mom…..and then afterwords we played on in the funhouse. And we met his other friend tim, who was there and afterwords his mom let us get milkshakes and then we went back to his house and then…”

How does this relate to pickup? Let me explain…

The underlying assumption in an adult-kid interaction is that the adult must lead, and probe the kid to open up, and then let the kid excitedly talk about himself, while the adult listens, or at least pretends to.

Why is this?

Because the adult has value in that they don’t need to impress the kid. Instead, they are looking for the kid to impress him. Not in the sense that the kid needs to actually impress him, but he is looking for the little guy to just open up. They are adults after all, and what does he need to show the kid about himself?

Secondly, the adult has value in the fact that they have years of conversational experience on the kid, so the adult must lead the conversation and allow the child to open up and express himself.

Notice how in this conversation, the person with higher value asks the questions, shows interest, does not qualify him/herself to the child.

Why should a conversation with a cute brunette be any different?

Think about it…

A special thanks to Juggler’s crew Charisma Sciences Institute who not only inspired this post, but changed the way I think about human interaction. I love you guys.
For more on this topic, take a look at John’s post “the entertainment trap” located in the “passport” section of the CSI website. And finally, check out Juggler’s book. It’s that good.

"If you find a good solution and become attached to it, the solution may become your next problem.” - Dr. Robert Anthony

If you can no longer interact with another human being without thinking about what phase of A3 you are in; what routine you should run; what tactic you should use - maybe you have a new problem. Maybe you should let go of your solution and see what happens...

When I first began caring about girls, around the beginning of high school, i thought that all that they wanted were muscles. The concept of game didn't even cross my mind, and at that age, no one talked about anything of the sort. All I was going on was what the tv, movies, magazines were telling me.

So, naturally, I found the problem - me being weak - and fixed it, by lifting weights. I began to love lifting weights and have since built a physique that I am very proud of, and is attractive to girls. Up until recently, however, this has been a bad thing.

What? A great body, attraction, a bad thing?

Well yea...

When I was reading all of the seduction material that was telling me to first attract by showing value, then create rapport, I was having no success. Why? Becuase the attraction was there already. Not MASSIVE amounts, albeit, but enough to get girls interested. I was unaware of this, and would be cocky and funny, would bust their balls, would tell stories, try to prove myself to them. So here I am pumping up my value, and pumping it, until all of the sudden girls would lose interest. this was because..

I was OVERQUALIFYING MYSELF.

While I was busy trying to create attraction (that i already had), I was avoiding making a real human connection, achieving true, honest rapport, and connecting with these girls. I wash literally pushing these girls away with attraction material.

Girls ARE attracted to higher value, but to a point, if you pump value too high then either a.) you will look try hard and insecure or b.) she will think you are unattainable. Also, in forgoing rapport, you will be seen as hard to connect with, arrogant, and aloof.

The bottom line? Once you get a few IOI's go for rapport. No one else does - properly, at least...but that's another topic for another time.

My first exposure to the community was through David Deangelo's Double Your Dating ebook.

I'm sure you've read it. If you havn't, you're lucky.

In his classic title, Double Your Dating, he advised me to be cocky and funny. He told me not to smile. He told me never to give a girl a direct answer. He told me that i should break rapport instead of build it. Armed with this new knowledge, and many other "insider secrets", I headed out into the field.

This shit DIDNT work. The last year or so has been spent figuring out why, and adapting a new approach, which has now landed me where I want to be. Let's look at why Deangelo's advice might not be the gold that everyone makes it out to be...

Cocky and Funny?

Not so fast...

You see, cockiness is a defense mechanism. Its something that low self esteem people use to pretend that they have high self esteem. It's as simple as that, and its so fucking obvious. Women recognize it. I see it everyday and just shrug. Girls do not respond to cocky. Do they like funny? You bet. And if you're funny enough, and say one one of these cocky lines in a playful way with a huge smile, it might even work, but is this what he advises? NOPE. He advocates not smiling, telling us to continue busting their balls even when they want you to stop....

Wait, so your not supposed to smile?

Your smile is a natural indicator of you internal state. Its a signal to everyone around you that you are happy, friendly, approachable, playful, confident. If you've read "The Game", you know that it's one of Mystery's five characteristics of the Alpha Male. Who doesn't smile? People who take themselves too seriously. Is this the type of guy a girl wants? No.

Girls want a fun guy. Fun guys smile. Serious guys don't. Deangelo is flat out wrong.

Break Rapport?

To be continued...

I am probably alot like you.

A few years ago I set out to amp my "game" up and get better with women. I decided that I was done with the awkward moments, the uninterested girls, and the nights spent alone.

My first reaction to the "community" was "wow, these guys have all the answers, I'm like totally gonna be good at this in no time man!". I was wrong. I spent hours at a time looking through all of the online postings, countless dollars spent on USELESS products, and wayyyy too much energy worrying about which gameplan was the perfect one.

Now, I'm here to give you the website I wish I had.

A site to steer you through the bullshit in the community and help you keep your head above water.

I do not claim to be the greateset pickup artist of all time, but I do understand the journey that it takes to go from afc to pua. It is my hope that I can explain my understanding of the process to you in a way that cuts years off of your journey.

Oh yeah, and I also like long walks on the beach....